1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. Outland (PVP) server World of Warcraft - Torporr (character name). 2 00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,796 Boxers! 3 00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:02,220 Not one step further. 4 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:05,682 The keeper of the lmperial Seal. 5 00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:08,268 Just the man l was looking for. 6 00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,522 A woman. 7 00:05:12,605 --> 00:05:14,941 You Chinese are very progressive. 8 00:05:51,561 --> 00:05:53,521 A gift from an old friend. 9 00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,316 Wu Chow. 10 00:05:57,192 --> 00:05:59,861 He wanted me to send his regards. 11 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,700 Father! 12 00:07:00,171 --> 00:07:01,798 Father. 13 00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:06,261 The seal. You must get it back. 14 00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:09,681 l promise. 15 00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:14,561 Give this... to your brother. 16 00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,217 What are you reading? 17 00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:50,930 Oh. "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy." 18 00:07:51,014 --> 00:07:52,265 lt's incredible. 19 00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:54,434 Roy's just taken out the Mummy's entire army 20 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:58,021 of zombie confederate soldiers, and he only had one bullet. 21 00:07:58,104 --> 00:07:59,772 That's impossible. 22 00:07:59,814 --> 00:08:01,107 Oh, no, it's not. 23 00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:03,818 Roy figured out the physics of the canyon 24 00:08:03,902 --> 00:08:06,362 and then ricocheted a bullet off the canyon wall. 25 00:08:06,446 --> 00:08:08,448 Nailed each zombie through the heart. 26 00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:10,783 What about the Shanghai Kid? 27 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,619 He was captured and knocked out on page 10 28 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,329 while he was polishing Roy's pearl handles. 29 00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:15,496 Don't you worry. 30 00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:18,625 Roy's about to save him from becoming a human sacrifice. 31 00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:21,503 Those stories are all lies. 32 00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:22,629 No. See? 33 00:08:22,712 --> 00:08:23,963 lt says right here on the back. 34 00:08:24,047 --> 00:08:27,217 "Author Sage McCallister bases all his stories 35 00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,135 on firsthand accounts." 36 00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:53,535 Sorry, sheriff. No princess. 37 00:08:58,081 --> 00:08:59,791 Every day you meet the noon stage. 38 00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:02,335 Every day it's the same story. 39 00:09:02,377 --> 00:09:04,170 She's not coming back. 40 00:09:04,212 --> 00:09:07,423 Pei Pei's married to her work in San Francisco. 41 00:09:07,507 --> 00:09:08,925 Modern woman. 42 00:09:09,008 --> 00:09:11,261 Sheriff, you got a parcel. 43 00:09:12,637 --> 00:09:14,514 Hey, maybe it's from her! 44 00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:17,058 No. lt's from my sister in China. 45 00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:08,818 l know. 46 00:10:13,198 --> 00:10:15,533 l know. l must go. 47 00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:18,995 Stay here and be a good horsey for the new sheriff. 48 00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:27,587 Uh, sheriff, that stage is headed east. 49 00:10:27,629 --> 00:10:30,340 lsn't China kind of west of here? 50 00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:33,092 l'm not going to China. l'm going to New York. 51 00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:34,636 Roy invested my money. 52 00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:38,306 ls it true that he lives in a penthouse at the top of the Ritz 53 00:10:38,515 --> 00:10:40,016 surrounded by dozens of beautiful women 54 00:10:40,141 --> 00:10:41,768 at his every beck and call? 55 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,269 That's the old Roy. 56 00:10:43,353 --> 00:10:45,647 He's married, settled down. 57 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,483 Trust me, he's changed. 58 00:10:50,026 --> 00:10:52,654 So there we were. Completely outnumbered. 59 00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:55,490 He didn't have to tell me we didn't stand a chance. 60 00:10:55,532 --> 00:10:58,785 So l send the Shanghai Kid and the princess out the back. 61 00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:01,454 Poor Shanghai Kid. He was so frightened. 62 00:11:01,538 --> 00:11:03,831 He forgot to thank me for saving his life. 63 00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:05,667 l'm used to that. 64 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:09,629 Now, l returned to the front, and l counted to three... 65 00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:11,840 and l burst out of the mission. 66 00:11:11,923 --> 00:11:15,844 Pearl handles blazing. Lead flying everywhere. 67 00:11:15,885 --> 00:11:17,887 And not a single bullet touched me. 68 00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:20,306 -No! -Yeah. 69 00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:22,517 What happened to the emperor's gold? 70 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,852 Well, we divided it up. 71 00:11:23,935 --> 00:11:27,021 l insisted on giving my share to the lndians. 72 00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:29,274 The savages? 73 00:11:29,357 --> 00:11:33,027 Please don't ever call those noble people savages. 74 00:11:33,111 --> 00:11:34,320 lf being proud of your body 75 00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:36,865 and wanting to ride around naked all day makes you a savage, 76 00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:39,868 then, by God, you're drinking with a savage. 77 00:11:54,257 --> 00:11:56,634 And that is what you call a French toast. 78 00:11:56,718 --> 00:12:00,346 You are so sophisticated, Mr. O'Bannon. 79 00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:02,348 Whoo! 80 00:12:02,432 --> 00:12:05,643 Who's up for some more bubbly? 81 00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,657 Reach for the sky, Roy. 82 00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:21,868 Say that again. 83 00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:24,120 Reach for the sky, Roy. 84 00:12:24,204 --> 00:12:26,748 Chon Wang! 85 00:12:26,831 --> 00:12:28,625 You sly son of a gun! 86 00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,668 -Look at you! -Look at you! 87 00:12:30,752 --> 00:12:33,838 -What brings you to New York? -My share of the gold. 88 00:12:33,922 --> 00:12:36,216 Refresh my memory. What gold? 89 00:12:36,257 --> 00:12:38,384 The emperor's gold. 90 00:12:38,468 --> 00:12:41,012 Okay, now, that gold is in 91 00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:43,890 what the Wall Street pros call a long-term investment. 92 00:12:43,932 --> 00:12:45,892 We can't touch it because it's building. 93 00:12:45,934 --> 00:12:46,935 l need it tonight. 94 00:12:47,018 --> 00:12:48,937 You just got here. Let's celebrate. 95 00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:49,938 No. l don't have time. 96 00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:53,399 -You just got to the big city. -My father's been killed. 97 00:12:57,612 --> 00:12:58,947 Chon, l'm... 98 00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:00,949 You need the money to get back for the funeral? 99 00:13:01,032 --> 00:13:04,285 No. l must go to England. The ship leaves tonight. 100 00:13:04,369 --> 00:13:05,870 Your father died in England? 101 00:13:05,954 --> 00:13:08,665 China. My sister followed the murderer to London. 102 00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:12,293 Wait. Murderer. l'm a little bit mixed up. 103 00:13:12,377 --> 00:13:14,379 Let me see if l can get the facts straight. 104 00:13:14,462 --> 00:13:17,549 You have a sister? You never told me you had a sister. 105 00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:19,968 ls she pretty or does she look like you? Be honest. 106 00:13:20,051 --> 00:13:22,387 Roy, l need my money! 107 00:13:22,428 --> 00:13:24,389 l don't like that tone of voice. 108 00:13:24,472 --> 00:13:27,517 You think after all we've been through l'd stiff you? 109 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,686 l'm doing pretty well for myself. 110 00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:31,354 Yeah. 111 00:13:31,938 --> 00:13:34,399 -l'm sorry, Roy. -That's okay. 112 00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:36,484 You're going through a really tough time right now. 113 00:13:36,568 --> 00:13:38,778 You got to be more trusting of people, okay? 114 00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:40,572 Look at me. lt's Roy. 115 00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:42,782 The couple at table 5 is ready to order. 116 00:13:46,619 --> 00:13:48,162 Do you work here? 117 00:13:48,246 --> 00:13:49,497 No, l don't work here. 118 00:13:49,581 --> 00:13:52,000 lt looks like these guys are wearing a similar jacket. 119 00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:54,544 Roy, here's your cut of the tips. 120 00:13:59,674 --> 00:14:00,925 lt's the craziest thing. 121 00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:03,636 l guess because l come in here so much 122 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,138 they're mistaking me for a waiter. 123 00:14:05,221 --> 00:14:07,849 -lt's embarrassing. -You lost the gold. 124 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,269 -Not all of it. -Where's the rest? 125 00:14:11,352 --> 00:14:15,231 l have one word for you. Zeppelin. 126 00:14:15,315 --> 00:14:17,025 l need my money now! 127 00:14:17,108 --> 00:14:18,902 -Easy, easy. 128 00:14:20,695 --> 00:14:22,197 Will you do anything for this money? 129 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,157 Yes. l must leave tonight. 130 00:14:24,199 --> 00:14:25,992 Okay. Take this key. 131 00:14:26,075 --> 00:14:27,994 Go to the room. Get cleaned up. 132 00:14:28,036 --> 00:14:29,621 Your old pal Roy's got a plan. 133 00:14:29,704 --> 00:14:31,831 Go! Come on! 134 00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:50,558 Howdy, big boy. 135 00:15:01,027 --> 00:15:01,945 What? 136 00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:04,697 There's a woman in there! She wants me to sleep with her. 137 00:15:04,781 --> 00:15:05,865 Of course she does. 138 00:15:05,907 --> 00:15:08,117 l told her the Great Wall ain't the only big thing 139 00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:09,160 coming out of China. 140 00:15:09,244 --> 00:15:11,788 -Why did you say that? -So you could get the money. 141 00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,957 l will not sleep with women for money! 142 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:14,958 Why? 143 00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:17,168 l'm gonna sleep with her for money. 144 00:15:17,794 --> 00:15:20,547 Chon, just go in there and do your business 145 00:15:20,588 --> 00:15:22,715 and think about your sister in England. 146 00:15:22,757 --> 00:15:24,217 -What? -Roy! 147 00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:26,094 -Duty calls. -Roy! 148 00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:33,643 Good evening, Mr. Mayor. 149 00:15:33,726 --> 00:15:35,061 Where are they? 150 00:15:35,103 --> 00:15:36,271 Who? 151 00:15:37,605 --> 00:15:39,065 My daughters. 152 00:15:39,107 --> 00:15:40,233 10th floor. 153 00:15:47,323 --> 00:15:49,784 Roy? Roy, you got trouble. 154 00:15:49,826 --> 00:15:51,411 Roy! 155 00:15:51,494 --> 00:15:54,038 l got to check on something. l'll be right back. 156 00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:58,084 Chon, new plan. We got to go. 157 00:15:58,168 --> 00:15:59,919 -Chon, what are you doing?! 158 00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:01,254 l'm fixing her back. 159 00:16:01,296 --> 00:16:03,798 Put her down, you decadent Philistine. 160 00:16:06,217 --> 00:16:08,219 Hey, Chon, come on! Let's go! 161 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:10,513 -Bye-bye. -Bye. 162 00:16:10,597 --> 00:16:12,432 Come on! 163 00:16:14,017 --> 00:16:16,269 l don't understand. What's going on? 164 00:16:16,311 --> 00:16:17,604 l don't have time to explain. 165 00:16:17,645 --> 00:16:20,148 All you have to know is there are bad men after us... 166 00:16:20,231 --> 00:16:21,608 but l'm in the right. 167 00:16:21,691 --> 00:16:26,154 -Roy. -You gotta trust me on this. 168 00:16:26,196 --> 00:16:27,280 Okay, look. 169 00:16:27,363 --> 00:16:30,283 l'm in a transitional phase in my life. 170 00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:31,826 -But... -But what? 171 00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:35,288 You want to know the truth? 172 00:16:35,371 --> 00:16:37,373 l'm a little lost right now. 173 00:16:37,457 --> 00:16:39,459 l see you. You've got a sense of purpose. 174 00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:43,338 But look at me. l'm a 30-year-old waiter/gigolo. 175 00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:45,715 Where's the future in that? 176 00:16:50,178 --> 00:16:52,263 So what's the plan? 177 00:16:52,347 --> 00:16:54,182 You were always my compass, Chon. 178 00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:56,518 The plan. You ask me the right questions. 179 00:16:56,601 --> 00:16:57,560 The plan? 180 00:16:57,644 --> 00:17:00,355 The plan, l think, is to find the right woman. 181 00:17:00,438 --> 00:17:02,857 Raise a lot of children and teach them values. 182 00:17:02,941 --> 00:17:05,693 No, Roy. The plan to get out of here. 183 00:17:05,777 --> 00:17:07,529 Okay, the plan. Here we go. 184 00:17:18,957 --> 00:17:20,583 -Cops! Cops! -They can help us. 185 00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:22,961 No, no. Chon, not these cops. 186 00:17:23,044 --> 00:17:26,005 These are dirty cops. They take advantage of people. 187 00:17:26,047 --> 00:17:30,510 Now, if they stop us, remember, l'm not Roy O'Bannon. 188 00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:32,053 Who are you? 189 00:17:32,095 --> 00:17:35,390 l'm your friend Smoky Desperado from the West. 190 00:17:35,473 --> 00:17:36,724 And who am l? 191 00:17:36,808 --> 00:17:38,852 You. You're Benihana. 192 00:17:38,935 --> 00:17:41,062 -Benihana. -Yeah. 193 00:17:41,145 --> 00:17:44,649 You teach crippled children yoga here in the city. 194 00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:47,735 -You go first. -No! Why me? 195 00:17:47,819 --> 00:17:50,196 Because you blend in, okay? 196 00:17:50,321 --> 00:17:53,241 Now, go! Don't let them see you! 197 00:17:54,993 --> 00:17:56,077 Benihana. 198 00:18:12,552 --> 00:18:14,262 Hey! Hey! 199 00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:19,786 Chon! 200 00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,371 Come on. Stop wasting time. 201 00:19:26,042 --> 00:19:26,918 You! 202 00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:29,254 Chon, l found our ticket out of here. 203 00:19:30,797 --> 00:19:32,131 We're on our way. 204 00:19:32,257 --> 00:19:34,384 Looks like old Roy came through again. 205 00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:36,427 Just like old times, Chon. 206 00:19:36,511 --> 00:19:38,263 Check over there! 207 00:19:38,346 --> 00:19:41,391 -Over to the alley! -That way! 208 00:19:44,602 --> 00:19:47,480 Yeah, just like old times. 209 00:19:47,564 --> 00:19:49,315 Will you forget about the gold for a second? 210 00:19:49,315 --> 00:19:51,109 You're gonna have more money than you ever dreamed of 211 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:52,944 when that first zeppelin takes off. 212 00:19:52,986 --> 00:19:56,114 Why do l always believe you? 213 00:19:56,197 --> 00:19:57,991 What do you mean? 214 00:19:58,032 --> 00:19:59,576 You're lucky l didn't invest 215 00:19:59,659 --> 00:20:02,620 in that ridiculous automobile idea. 216 00:20:02,704 --> 00:20:04,539 Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money. 217 00:20:29,564 --> 00:20:30,940 What's that? 218 00:20:31,024 --> 00:20:33,568 Doghouse. l'm in the doghouse. 219 00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:36,237 Oh, come on, Chon. 220 00:20:36,321 --> 00:20:38,281 Look, l'm sorry l lied. 221 00:20:38,323 --> 00:20:40,867 l just didn't want to disappoint you. 222 00:20:42,202 --> 00:20:44,245 That's exactly what l mean. 223 00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:45,872 l can't take that look. 224 00:20:45,997 --> 00:20:48,666 l learned it from my father. 225 00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:50,835 That's how he used to look at me. 226 00:20:52,086 --> 00:20:54,714 What did your dad do? Was he an lmperial Guard? 227 00:20:54,756 --> 00:20:55,798 No. 228 00:20:55,924 --> 00:20:58,760 Much more important. 229 00:20:58,885 --> 00:21:01,346 He was the keeper of the lmperial Seal. 230 00:21:01,387 --> 00:21:02,847 That's what l love about China. 231 00:21:02,931 --> 00:21:05,767 Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool. 232 00:21:05,808 --> 00:21:08,811 The seal has been symbol of the emperor's power 233 00:21:08,937 --> 00:21:10,104 since Genghis Khan. 234 00:21:10,146 --> 00:21:13,483 lt has been passed down from one emperor to another. 235 00:21:13,525 --> 00:21:17,070 My family have been watching over it for 12 generations. 236 00:21:17,153 --> 00:21:18,738 12 generations? 237 00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:22,867 My father and l used to skip stones across the moat 238 00:21:22,909 --> 00:21:27,163 and talk about a day l would follow his footsteps. 239 00:21:28,706 --> 00:21:31,626 l was his only son. 240 00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:35,296 lf l'd have been there, l could have protected him. 241 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:37,757 lt's not your fault. You were 3,000 miles away. 242 00:21:41,094 --> 00:21:42,804 What's with that little box? 243 00:21:43,763 --> 00:21:47,642 My sister sent it to me from my father. 244 00:21:47,684 --> 00:21:50,478 -There's a message inside. -What's it say? 245 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,273 lt's a puzzle box. l don't know how to open yet. 246 00:21:53,314 --> 00:21:54,274 What do you mean? 247 00:21:54,315 --> 00:21:56,901 Get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says. 248 00:21:56,985 --> 00:21:59,153 l must have patience. 249 00:21:59,279 --> 00:22:01,614 By the time l'm able to open it... 250 00:22:01,656 --> 00:22:03,032 l will be ready to read the message. 251 00:22:03,157 --> 00:22:04,325 Come on, Confucius. 252 00:22:04,367 --> 00:22:06,619 That's the corniest thing l've ever heard. 253 00:22:09,706 --> 00:22:11,541 Let me see this. 254 00:22:14,586 --> 00:22:16,087 You know what? 255 00:22:16,171 --> 00:22:18,131 We're gonna go to England. 256 00:22:18,173 --> 00:22:19,674 We're gonna find your dad's killer. 257 00:22:19,716 --> 00:22:21,217 We're gonna get that seal back. 258 00:22:21,301 --> 00:22:22,760 There's no reward for this, Roy. 259 00:22:22,844 --> 00:22:24,095 Who said anything about a reward? 260 00:22:24,179 --> 00:22:27,640 l'm talking about friendship, loyalty, honor. 261 00:22:27,724 --> 00:22:29,225 Okay? 262 00:22:30,143 --> 00:22:31,686 Thank you, Roy. 263 00:22:34,439 --> 00:22:36,482 And l hear England is ass soup. 264 00:22:36,566 --> 00:22:38,776 A lot of pretty girls there. 265 00:22:50,955 --> 00:22:53,666 First order of business, my Lords... 266 00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:57,504 is a report from our esteemed friend Lord Rathbone... 267 00:22:57,587 --> 00:23:02,550 who recently returned from a diplomatic mission to China. 268 00:23:13,394 --> 00:23:15,438 Fellow Lords... 269 00:23:15,522 --> 00:23:19,359 l'm afraid l bring disturbing news from the Orient. 270 00:23:20,068 --> 00:23:22,195 The opium wars have ravaged the land. 271 00:23:22,278 --> 00:23:24,697 The emperor's enemies are organizing. 272 00:23:24,739 --> 00:23:27,367 The most vicious are the Boxers. 273 00:23:27,408 --> 00:23:31,412 A godless band of rebels who murder without discretion. 274 00:23:32,914 --> 00:23:35,208 China is not well. 275 00:23:36,876 --> 00:23:40,922 l have brought back an envoy who should give us some insight 276 00:23:41,005 --> 00:23:44,551 into the inscrutable mind of the Chinese. 277 00:23:48,096 --> 00:23:50,473 ls he mad? 278 00:23:50,557 --> 00:23:53,476 Given to Her Majesty Queen Victoria by the emperor 279 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,397 in recognition of her 50 glorious years on the throne. 280 00:23:59,190 --> 00:24:00,859 Outrageousness! 281 00:24:02,235 --> 00:24:03,945 Long live the queen. 282 00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:29,637 Jack the Ripper strikes again! 283 00:24:29,679 --> 00:24:32,432 Extra! Extra! Read all about it. 284 00:24:32,473 --> 00:24:34,142 Howdy, partner. 285 00:24:35,101 --> 00:24:37,228 The English are not very friendly. 286 00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:39,772 They're just sore losers. 287 00:24:39,856 --> 00:24:41,316 What did they lose? 288 00:24:41,399 --> 00:24:44,819 A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon. 289 00:24:44,903 --> 00:24:45,862 Never heard of it. 290 00:24:45,945 --> 00:24:47,280 l'll give you the highlights. 291 00:24:47,363 --> 00:24:49,282 They came over with about a million men. 292 00:24:49,324 --> 00:24:51,326 We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks 293 00:24:51,367 --> 00:24:53,453 and beat 'em like a drum. 294 00:24:56,915 --> 00:24:58,750 Hey! l'm walking here! 295 00:24:58,833 --> 00:25:02,170 You're driving on the wrong side of the road! 296 00:25:02,253 --> 00:25:05,965 Bunch of amateurs. These people don't get it. 297 00:25:06,007 --> 00:25:07,800 Hello, ladies. 298 00:25:11,554 --> 00:25:12,639 Look at you. 299 00:25:12,722 --> 00:25:14,974 What? l'm not supposed to notice a pretty lady? 300 00:25:15,058 --> 00:25:17,519 l thought you wanted to settle down and have a family. 301 00:25:17,602 --> 00:25:20,897 l do, Chon. l just hope l can. 302 00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:22,023 Why not? 303 00:25:22,106 --> 00:25:25,693 Sometimes l worry that all the damn horseback riding 304 00:25:25,777 --> 00:25:27,070 l did out in the West, 305 00:25:27,153 --> 00:25:31,157 bouncing up and down on the hard saddles might have made it 306 00:25:31,199 --> 00:25:35,578 so my salmon don't swim upstream the way they're supposed to. 307 00:25:35,662 --> 00:25:36,704 What? 308 00:25:36,788 --> 00:25:39,958 l might be shooting blanks. 309 00:25:39,999 --> 00:25:41,042 Oh. 310 00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:43,253 Don't say anything. 311 00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:47,340 Roy, it's okay. 312 00:25:47,423 --> 00:25:49,968 Some people are not meant to have a family. 313 00:25:50,051 --> 00:25:52,887 l've always had such a special connection with children. 314 00:25:52,929 --> 00:25:54,222 The little ankle biters. 315 00:25:54,305 --> 00:25:56,391 Hey, watch it, you little punk! 316 00:25:56,474 --> 00:25:58,309 Pardon me, guv. 317 00:26:02,146 --> 00:26:04,065 You gents lost your way? 318 00:26:04,148 --> 00:26:06,609 Yeah. We're looking for my sister. 319 00:26:06,693 --> 00:26:09,445 She's staying at 32 Oxford Street. 320 00:26:09,529 --> 00:26:12,657 l know it well, guv. Me old man used to live there. 321 00:26:12,740 --> 00:26:15,743 Can you show us the way? 322 00:26:15,827 --> 00:26:19,831 Well, memory's a little dodgy. 323 00:26:19,914 --> 00:26:22,333 But l'm sure for a bob l could get you there. 324 00:26:22,417 --> 00:26:25,128 What do you take us for? Okies from Muskogee? 325 00:26:25,211 --> 00:26:27,255 Go sell your bullshit someplace else. 326 00:26:27,338 --> 00:26:29,299 We're not buying. 327 00:26:29,382 --> 00:26:31,009 Thanks for the tip, guv. 328 00:26:31,092 --> 00:26:33,386 Hey! l stole that watch from my uncle! 329 00:26:33,428 --> 00:26:34,721 What? 330 00:26:55,033 --> 00:26:56,075 This way. 331 00:27:00,079 --> 00:27:02,248 Come here, you little rubbish eater! 332 00:27:02,332 --> 00:27:05,460 What did l tell you about poaching on our turf, Charlie? 333 00:27:05,543 --> 00:27:07,670 l'm on the straight and narrow. Honest. 334 00:27:12,634 --> 00:27:15,011 What's this, then? 335 00:27:15,094 --> 00:27:16,471 After l'm through beating you... 336 00:27:16,554 --> 00:27:19,474 you're gonna wish you never ran away from the workhouse! 337 00:27:19,557 --> 00:27:21,142 Leave the boy alone. 338 00:27:22,143 --> 00:27:25,104 Bloody tourists! Get your noses out of it! 339 00:27:25,146 --> 00:27:26,940 Do whatever you want to the kid... 340 00:27:27,023 --> 00:27:28,733 but that's my watch. 341 00:27:28,816 --> 00:27:33,238 Well, there's a load of us and only two of you. 342 00:27:33,321 --> 00:27:35,114 So piss off! 343 00:27:35,198 --> 00:27:37,450 Easy, fellas. You've lost one war this way. 344 00:27:37,534 --> 00:27:39,452 Don't make the same mistake twice. 345 00:27:55,468 --> 00:27:57,470 Come on! After him! 346 00:28:03,852 --> 00:28:05,019 Hey! 347 00:28:10,483 --> 00:28:11,818 There he is! Get him! 348 00:28:11,860 --> 00:28:14,487 We've got him now. Move in, lads. 349 00:28:37,886 --> 00:28:40,763 Boys, boys, wait, wait! 350 00:28:50,106 --> 00:28:51,482 Come on! Get him! 351 00:28:51,566 --> 00:28:52,567 Up the bloody ladder! 352 00:29:23,848 --> 00:29:26,601 Hey! Hey! 353 00:29:27,435 --> 00:29:29,020 Watch it! 354 00:29:36,319 --> 00:29:37,403 Hey. 355 00:30:04,138 --> 00:30:05,557 Come here, you! 356 00:30:37,547 --> 00:30:38,715 Cool. 357 00:30:58,526 --> 00:30:59,736 Move it! 358 00:31:38,983 --> 00:31:40,193 You! 359 00:31:52,747 --> 00:31:55,083 Did you see that? 360 00:31:55,166 --> 00:31:56,793 lt's okay. 361 00:31:56,918 --> 00:31:57,961 Okay?! 362 00:31:58,002 --> 00:31:59,712 l call that one my kung pao chicken. 363 00:31:59,754 --> 00:32:01,506 l clotheslined the sucker. 364 00:32:03,550 --> 00:32:04,676 Come on, get back! 365 00:32:04,717 --> 00:32:06,970 Clear away! 366 00:32:07,053 --> 00:32:08,763 Make way! 367 00:32:20,608 --> 00:32:24,904 l think you gentlemen should accompany me back to the yard. 368 00:32:24,946 --> 00:32:27,574 This isn't a yard! lt's a jail! 369 00:32:27,615 --> 00:32:28,950 Roy, calm down. 370 00:32:30,910 --> 00:32:33,538 Unbelievable. 371 00:32:35,290 --> 00:32:36,583 Wait! Someone's coming! 372 00:32:36,666 --> 00:32:38,710 -Let me handle this. -l'm gonna handle it. 373 00:32:38,793 --> 00:32:40,295 The English aren't like you. 374 00:32:40,336 --> 00:32:42,547 They don't get all emotional. Touchy-feely. 375 00:32:42,589 --> 00:32:43,715 Do me a favor. 376 00:32:43,798 --> 00:32:46,259 Park the kung fu. Let me do the talking. 377 00:32:47,552 --> 00:32:51,347 Come here. Let me give you a hug. 378 00:32:53,933 --> 00:32:57,437 l've been after that Fleet Street gang for two years. 379 00:32:57,478 --> 00:32:59,439 Then you two come along and bring them down 380 00:32:59,522 --> 00:33:01,399 in a single afternoon. Brilliant! 381 00:33:01,482 --> 00:33:03,067 Now, um... 382 00:33:03,151 --> 00:33:04,485 Oh, that's my watch! 383 00:33:04,569 --> 00:33:06,237 Yes. A street urchin turned it in. 384 00:33:06,321 --> 00:33:08,406 The little punk better not have scuffed it. 385 00:33:08,448 --> 00:33:11,492 -l hope your luck picks up. -What do you mean? 386 00:33:11,576 --> 00:33:14,579 l deduced from your watch that you'd hit a rough patch. 387 00:33:14,662 --> 00:33:16,331 He has. How do you know? 388 00:33:16,414 --> 00:33:18,958 lt's an investigative technique l've developed. 389 00:33:19,042 --> 00:33:22,295 l can deduce intimate details about an individual 390 00:33:22,378 --> 00:33:25,882 through a close scrutiny of their personal effects. 391 00:33:25,965 --> 00:33:27,800 What else can you tell? 392 00:33:29,552 --> 00:33:33,723 The owner of this watch is a bad gambler 393 00:33:33,806 --> 00:33:35,225 and a lousy shot. 394 00:33:35,308 --> 00:33:37,977 Although he's cheated death several times... 395 00:33:38,061 --> 00:33:41,606 he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic 396 00:33:41,648 --> 00:33:44,526 and futile search for purpose and respect. 397 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,736 Oh, yes. 398 00:33:46,819 --> 00:33:49,781 He has a penchant for loose women. 399 00:33:51,199 --> 00:33:53,701 Wow. That's amazing. 400 00:33:53,785 --> 00:33:55,787 l'm sure it's a very popular party trick 401 00:33:55,828 --> 00:33:57,664 at birthdays for small children... 402 00:33:57,747 --> 00:34:00,667 but it doesn't quite play with adults. 403 00:34:00,708 --> 00:34:02,210 Just to set the record straight. 404 00:34:02,293 --> 00:34:04,963 Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women. 405 00:34:05,046 --> 00:34:06,756 Loose women are attracted to me. 406 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,967 -You're Roy O'Bannon? -Yeah. 407 00:34:09,008 --> 00:34:11,010 The famous Western folk hero? 408 00:34:11,052 --> 00:34:12,220 Have you heard of me? 409 00:34:12,303 --> 00:34:13,638 Have l heard of you? 410 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:17,058 l've only read "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy" five times. 411 00:34:17,141 --> 00:34:18,351 lt's fascinating. 412 00:34:18,434 --> 00:34:20,186 l want you to meet the Shanghai Kid. 413 00:34:20,228 --> 00:34:21,271 Oh, yes. 414 00:34:21,354 --> 00:34:23,940 The faithful Chinese sidekick. 415 00:34:24,023 --> 00:34:27,527 l'm not a sidekick. Those stories are all lies. 416 00:34:27,610 --> 00:34:29,529 Come on, don't be bitter. 417 00:34:29,571 --> 00:34:32,073 l can't help what Sage McCallister writes. 418 00:34:32,156 --> 00:34:35,910 lf there's anything l can do, l'm at your service. 419 00:34:35,994 --> 00:34:38,955 We're looking for my sister. She's staying at this address. 420 00:34:39,038 --> 00:34:41,958 Can you take us there? 421 00:34:42,041 --> 00:34:43,960 Oh, dear. 422 00:34:44,043 --> 00:34:46,504 l think you'd better come with me. 423 00:35:12,906 --> 00:35:14,407 Lin. 424 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,993 Wang. 425 00:35:22,749 --> 00:35:26,753 lf you don't mind, l'll just wait outside. 426 00:35:28,671 --> 00:35:30,632 lntroduce me. 427 00:35:30,715 --> 00:35:33,843 Oh. This is Lin, my baby sister. 428 00:35:36,179 --> 00:35:38,264 Roy O'Bannon. 429 00:35:39,724 --> 00:35:41,059 Pleasure. 430 00:35:41,935 --> 00:35:44,521 You never told me your sister was such a... 431 00:35:44,562 --> 00:35:46,606 beautiful lotus blossom. 432 00:35:53,446 --> 00:35:54,113 What'd she say? 433 00:35:55,657 --> 00:35:56,449 No, no, no. 434 00:35:56,533 --> 00:35:58,618 No talking about me in your native tongue. 435 00:35:59,619 --> 00:36:01,037 Why are you in jail? 436 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,956 l followed the man who murdered Father. 437 00:36:02,997 --> 00:36:04,249 And? 438 00:36:04,290 --> 00:36:05,834 l found out where he live. 439 00:36:05,917 --> 00:36:08,795 l snuck inside his house and tried to kill him. 440 00:36:08,837 --> 00:36:10,880 lt's my duty to find Father's killer. 441 00:36:10,964 --> 00:36:13,633 No, it is mine! l'm the one who promised Father. 442 00:36:13,675 --> 00:36:15,051 But l'm his only son. 443 00:36:15,134 --> 00:36:17,428 When you abandoned us for America... 444 00:36:17,554 --> 00:36:19,222 Father said he had no son. 445 00:36:19,305 --> 00:36:20,682 What? 446 00:36:22,642 --> 00:36:24,519 Whoa. Time out. 447 00:36:24,602 --> 00:36:26,229 Time out. Come here. 448 00:36:26,271 --> 00:36:27,814 The detective's a fan. 449 00:36:27,856 --> 00:36:29,774 Why don't l play the celebrity card? 450 00:36:29,858 --> 00:36:31,442 We'll get her out that way. 451 00:36:31,568 --> 00:36:33,820 -Okay? -Okay. 452 00:36:36,990 --> 00:36:39,617 Don't worry. l'll get you out. 453 00:36:44,497 --> 00:36:45,999 Everything's gonna be okay. 454 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:49,335 ln fact, l'm gonna give you my good-luck playing cards. 455 00:36:51,171 --> 00:36:53,548 Just ignore the naked ladies. 456 00:36:54,257 --> 00:36:55,300 Wang! 457 00:36:56,134 --> 00:36:59,262 Have you opened Father's box? 458 00:36:59,387 --> 00:37:00,972 Not yet. 459 00:37:08,062 --> 00:37:10,607 She tried to assassinate Lord Rathbone 460 00:37:10,732 --> 00:37:13,151 whilst he was taking afternoon tea. 461 00:37:13,193 --> 00:37:15,278 He's 10th in line to the throne... 462 00:37:15,403 --> 00:37:17,322 Her Majesty's favorite cousin... 463 00:37:17,363 --> 00:37:19,574 and the finest swordsman in England. 464 00:37:22,493 --> 00:37:24,621 So, of course, the press had a field day. 465 00:37:24,746 --> 00:37:27,874 The story actually knocked Jack the Ripper off the front page. 466 00:37:27,957 --> 00:37:29,751 Artie, Lin is not a killer. 467 00:37:29,834 --> 00:37:32,670 She's just a really, really, really hot... 468 00:37:32,754 --> 00:37:34,589 confused Chinese girl. 469 00:37:34,714 --> 00:37:37,967 Maybe if l agreed to sign a few autographs 470 00:37:38,051 --> 00:37:40,094 and talk to some of my fans here in England... 471 00:37:40,178 --> 00:37:43,681 do some type of charity event, can we get her out that way? 472 00:37:43,765 --> 00:37:45,725 l'm afraid that's out of the question. 473 00:37:45,767 --> 00:37:47,227 What will happen to my sister? 474 00:37:47,268 --> 00:37:50,021 She'll go to trial, probably be locked away 475 00:37:50,104 --> 00:37:52,815 in an institution for the criminally insane. 476 00:37:52,941 --> 00:37:55,652 The tabloids have already dubbed her "Loony Lin." 477 00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:57,737 l thought it was rather catchy. 478 00:37:59,489 --> 00:38:01,533 At the time. 479 00:38:18,633 --> 00:38:20,426 Do you have any notion what would happen 480 00:38:20,426 --> 00:38:21,845 if we were to be seen together? 481 00:38:21,928 --> 00:38:25,765 Since your return, l have yet to lay eyes on the lmperial Seal. 482 00:38:25,807 --> 00:38:29,102 l'm hosting a jubilee ball at my country estate tomorrow. 483 00:38:29,143 --> 00:38:31,521 Be at the stables at midnight. 484 00:38:32,146 --> 00:38:35,775 As requested, a token of my esteem. 485 00:38:43,074 --> 00:38:45,451 This is where you get out. 486 00:38:48,246 --> 00:38:50,248 l hope there will be more trust between us 487 00:38:50,331 --> 00:38:53,418 when l'm emperor and you are the new king. 488 00:39:01,968 --> 00:39:04,971 Wow. Buckingham Palace. Look at that, Chon. 489 00:39:05,054 --> 00:39:07,223 That's where the queen lives. 490 00:39:08,308 --> 00:39:10,476 Hey, look at this guy. 491 00:39:10,476 --> 00:39:13,313 He's a royal guard. He has a very important job. 492 00:39:13,354 --> 00:39:14,606 l used to be just like him. 493 00:39:14,647 --> 00:39:16,316 No, they're nothing like you. 494 00:39:16,357 --> 00:39:17,984 They're a tourist attraction. 495 00:39:18,026 --> 00:39:20,028 You can make faces at them, insult them... 496 00:39:20,111 --> 00:39:21,362 and they can't move a muscle. 497 00:39:21,404 --> 00:39:22,947 -Here. Watch this. -Roy... 498 00:39:22,989 --> 00:39:24,324 No, it's okay. 499 00:39:24,365 --> 00:39:26,868 Hey, buddy, your shoes are untied. 500 00:39:29,871 --> 00:39:33,708 That is the biggest damn beaver l have ever seen. 501 00:39:34,459 --> 00:39:35,793 Roy, stop it. 502 00:39:35,877 --> 00:39:36,794 The queen! 503 00:39:36,878 --> 00:39:37,837 Look! The queen! 504 00:39:37,879 --> 00:39:40,632 She's mooning us! 505 00:39:40,715 --> 00:39:42,258 He almost went for that. 506 00:39:42,383 --> 00:39:44,594 My friend and l just came over from America. 507 00:39:44,677 --> 00:39:47,347 You might have heard of it. We run your jerkwater country. 508 00:39:47,430 --> 00:39:50,600 Come on, you gonna take that from a colonial? 509 00:39:50,642 --> 00:39:51,684 Roy, stop it. 510 00:39:51,809 --> 00:39:54,896 l bet you are one hell of a damn poker player. 511 00:39:54,979 --> 00:39:56,147 No hard feelings. 512 00:40:01,027 --> 00:40:02,612 They can't do that! 513 00:40:02,654 --> 00:40:04,030 You're not allowed to do that! 514 00:40:04,072 --> 00:40:05,156 Shouldn't have touched him. 515 00:40:05,198 --> 00:40:07,242 You scram, you little punk. 516 00:40:07,283 --> 00:40:08,868 l've got friends at Scotland Yard. 517 00:40:08,868 --> 00:40:10,370 l'll give you up in a heartbeat. 518 00:40:10,411 --> 00:40:11,913 You get your watch back? 519 00:40:11,996 --> 00:40:14,415 Don't worry about my watch. Go on. 520 00:40:14,499 --> 00:40:15,625 lt's a knockoff. 521 00:40:15,667 --> 00:40:17,168 What are you talking about? 522 00:40:17,210 --> 00:40:20,004 My uncle stole this watch from President Lincoln. 523 00:40:20,088 --> 00:40:22,048 lt's a priceless family heirloom. 524 00:40:22,090 --> 00:40:24,133 Not according to the pawnbroker. 525 00:40:24,217 --> 00:40:25,552 You should not steal. 526 00:40:25,677 --> 00:40:27,887 lf l don't steal, l don't eat. 527 00:40:27,929 --> 00:40:31,975 Who showed you how to do all that kicking and punching? 528 00:40:32,058 --> 00:40:33,893 My father. 529 00:40:33,893 --> 00:40:37,021 Have you ever heard of those? They're parents. 530 00:40:37,063 --> 00:40:38,898 You don't 'cause you're a little orphan. 531 00:40:38,982 --> 00:40:42,527 Now, go on. You're cramping our style. 532 00:40:44,821 --> 00:40:47,073 Oh, this country blows. 533 00:40:47,115 --> 00:40:50,201 You need a place to stay? 534 00:40:53,872 --> 00:40:55,790 Come on in and warm your dogs. 535 00:40:55,832 --> 00:40:58,668 You can get into a lot of trouble 536 00:40:58,793 --> 00:41:00,587 breaking into a place like this. 537 00:41:00,628 --> 00:41:02,380 That being said, well done. 538 00:41:07,635 --> 00:41:09,554 You just ate the last chocolate. 539 00:41:09,637 --> 00:41:10,763 Course l did. 540 00:41:10,805 --> 00:41:12,849 You gotta look out for number one. 541 00:41:13,933 --> 00:41:15,560 l could really get used to this. 542 00:41:15,602 --> 00:41:18,021 Living the life of a country gentleman. 543 00:41:18,104 --> 00:41:19,981 Maybe doing a little painting. 544 00:41:20,064 --> 00:41:22,859 Let Lin play in the garden with the children. 545 00:41:22,901 --> 00:41:25,361 Vera, Chuck, and Dave. 546 00:41:25,445 --> 00:41:26,863 Who's Lin? 547 00:41:26,946 --> 00:41:30,575 Lin's the most beautiful woman l've ever met. 548 00:41:30,658 --> 00:41:33,828 She's gonna be the savior of the house of O'Bannon. 549 00:41:33,870 --> 00:41:36,706 Chon, check out the threads. 550 00:41:36,789 --> 00:41:39,626 All l'm missing is the loyal hound curled at my feet. 551 00:41:39,751 --> 00:41:42,170 We are wasting time. We must find Rathbone. 552 00:41:42,212 --> 00:41:43,546 What do you think l've been doing? 553 00:41:43,630 --> 00:41:45,590 Sitting here drinking expensive hooch? 554 00:41:45,673 --> 00:41:46,674 Refill. 555 00:41:46,758 --> 00:41:49,010 l've been working on a plan. 556 00:41:49,135 --> 00:41:53,348 Now -- Whoa. Don't slosh the brandy. 557 00:41:53,431 --> 00:41:55,767 -lt messes with the bouquet. -Sod off. 558 00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:57,810 l'm trying to teach you a skill set. 559 00:41:57,977 --> 00:41:59,437 Help get you off the street. 560 00:41:59,521 --> 00:42:01,481 -Bartenders make big bucks. -Roy! 561 00:42:01,606 --> 00:42:03,316 The plan. 562 00:42:03,358 --> 00:42:05,109 Thank you, Chon. 563 00:42:05,151 --> 00:42:07,320 lf we find the seal... 564 00:42:07,403 --> 00:42:10,448 we can prove Rathbone killed your dad. 565 00:42:12,659 --> 00:42:15,328 lt's the old Hail Mary play. 566 00:42:15,370 --> 00:42:17,622 l also have a version where we dig a tunnel. 567 00:42:19,832 --> 00:42:20,750 Hey! 568 00:42:20,792 --> 00:42:23,002 Bloody catapult. Jesus Christ! 569 00:42:23,086 --> 00:42:25,338 -You don't need a catapult! -Who asked you? 570 00:42:25,380 --> 00:42:27,507 You don't interrupt grown-ups when they're talking. 571 00:42:27,549 --> 00:42:30,468 "Lord Nelson Rathbone requests the pleasure of your company 572 00:42:30,510 --> 00:42:31,636 at the jubilee ball 573 00:42:31,678 --> 00:42:35,515 in honor of Her Majesty's 50th year on the throne." 574 00:42:35,557 --> 00:42:36,975 Sounds good. 575 00:42:37,058 --> 00:42:39,018 lt doesn't address security. 576 00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:40,770 They're not gonna let Chon and l 577 00:42:40,854 --> 00:42:42,272 waltz into the castle. 578 00:42:42,355 --> 00:42:44,774 All you need is a proper disguise. 579 00:42:46,568 --> 00:42:49,195 l do like a good disguise. 580 00:43:13,595 --> 00:43:15,096 l look like a fool. 581 00:43:15,180 --> 00:43:18,057 What?! You're a maharaja. That's lndian royalty. 582 00:43:18,099 --> 00:43:21,352 -But l'm Chinese. -lt's the same thing. 583 00:43:21,436 --> 00:43:23,521 Bob your head a little bit. 584 00:43:23,605 --> 00:43:26,316 Gives you more of a lndia-royalty flavor. 585 00:43:26,399 --> 00:43:29,360 That's good. Good show, good show. 586 00:43:29,444 --> 00:43:30,612 Good show, good show. 587 00:43:30,653 --> 00:43:33,198 -Cheerio, cheerio. -Cheerio, cheerio. 588 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,033 What do we do when we see Rathbone? 589 00:43:35,116 --> 00:43:36,034 Kill him. 590 00:43:36,117 --> 00:43:38,036 No, okay? No! 591 00:43:38,077 --> 00:43:40,914 You're gonna be civil, 'cause we don't have the seal. 592 00:43:40,955 --> 00:43:45,877 No seal. No Lin. No family honor. Okay? 593 00:43:45,919 --> 00:43:48,338 Be cool. Okay, we look great. 594 00:43:48,379 --> 00:43:49,881 Let's enjoy this party. 595 00:43:52,967 --> 00:43:55,136 -Whoa. What are you doing? -l'm going inside. 596 00:43:55,178 --> 00:43:57,847 -The place is haunted. -You're the harness man. 597 00:43:57,931 --> 00:43:59,307 You get back at the carriage. 598 00:43:59,307 --> 00:44:01,518 You wait in case we need to make a quick getaway. 599 00:44:01,601 --> 00:44:02,602 Go on. Man your post. 600 00:44:02,685 --> 00:44:04,229 You don't always get what you want. 601 00:44:04,312 --> 00:44:06,773 Why are you so mean to that boy? 602 00:44:06,814 --> 00:44:09,484 l see a lot of myself in that kid. 603 00:44:09,567 --> 00:44:11,778 lt's kind of freaking me out. Come on. 604 00:44:22,247 --> 00:44:23,957 Your name, please, sir. 605 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,170 So l can announce you. 606 00:44:37,637 --> 00:44:41,057 Sherlock... Holmes. 607 00:44:41,182 --> 00:44:43,017 Sherlock Holmes. 608 00:44:44,602 --> 00:44:47,647 Which province do you represent, Your Highness? 609 00:44:50,567 --> 00:44:53,278 Nevada. 610 00:45:13,047 --> 00:45:16,968 May l present Major General Sherlock Holmes 611 00:45:17,010 --> 00:45:21,055 and His Highness, the maharaja of Nevada. 612 00:45:34,152 --> 00:45:37,113 How are the security arrangements? 613 00:45:37,197 --> 00:45:40,366 Oh, everything seems to be going swimmingly, my Lord. 614 00:45:40,408 --> 00:45:41,618 And if l may say so... 615 00:45:41,701 --> 00:45:44,329 it is an honor to guard Your Lordship tonight. 616 00:45:44,370 --> 00:45:46,831 l speak for all of us at Scotland Yard 617 00:45:46,915 --> 00:45:49,876 when l say that no matter how far you are from the throne... 618 00:45:49,918 --> 00:45:52,545 you'll always be number one in our hearts. 619 00:45:58,426 --> 00:46:00,220 Okay, here's the plan. 620 00:46:00,303 --> 00:46:01,804 We're gonna get a little chow. 621 00:46:01,888 --> 00:46:03,598 Then we're gonna sneak out of here. 622 00:46:03,681 --> 00:46:06,100 -Start looking for that seal. -Okay. 623 00:46:06,184 --> 00:46:08,311 -Spotted Dick, sir? -What? 624 00:46:08,394 --> 00:46:10,104 Spotted Dick. 625 00:46:12,482 --> 00:46:13,733 Can you believe this guy? 626 00:46:13,775 --> 00:46:14,859 l'm trying to get something to eat. 627 00:46:14,943 --> 00:46:16,819 He's asking me if l got the clap. 628 00:46:16,903 --> 00:46:19,822 l think he's offering you food. 629 00:46:20,907 --> 00:46:22,867 Oh. Spotted Dick. 630 00:46:22,951 --> 00:46:24,410 Oh, no. l think l'll pass. 631 00:46:24,494 --> 00:46:25,912 l'm not really a dessert man. 632 00:46:25,995 --> 00:46:29,290 Perhaps my friend might like some Spotted Dick. 633 00:46:31,334 --> 00:46:33,294 l might try one of these sausages. 634 00:46:33,336 --> 00:46:35,088 A little smoky Joe. 635 00:46:37,465 --> 00:46:40,051 This is good! 636 00:46:40,134 --> 00:46:42,220 l thought the food here was supposed to suck. 637 00:46:42,303 --> 00:46:44,472 The haggis is fresh from Scotland, sir. 638 00:46:44,556 --> 00:46:47,267 lt's made from the finest sheeps' bladders. 639 00:46:51,771 --> 00:46:54,482 l'm gonna get some whiskey and wash my mouth out. 640 00:46:59,821 --> 00:47:01,489 You should try the quail. 641 00:47:03,950 --> 00:47:06,035 l shot them myself this morning. 642 00:47:06,786 --> 00:47:09,122 How do you do, Your Lordship? 643 00:47:09,163 --> 00:47:11,916 Very well, thank you. 644 00:47:11,958 --> 00:47:15,295 l'm not acquainted with the Nevada province. 645 00:47:18,464 --> 00:47:21,050 But l haven't been to lndia since '81. 646 00:47:21,134 --> 00:47:23,553 l spent most of my time in the Orient. 647 00:47:23,636 --> 00:47:26,222 l hear you've just returned from China. 648 00:47:26,306 --> 00:47:29,434 You are well-informed, maharaja. 649 00:47:29,517 --> 00:47:31,728 lt is my dream that the Chinese people 650 00:47:31,811 --> 00:47:35,148 will follow lndia's example and one day embrace British rule. 651 00:47:35,190 --> 00:47:36,774 The Chinese are very proud. 652 00:47:36,858 --> 00:47:40,278 They place family and honor above all else. 653 00:47:40,361 --> 00:47:43,823 Well, l'm sure we can break them of that. 654 00:47:47,994 --> 00:47:50,413 lf you'll excuse me, l have a matter to attend to. 655 00:47:50,496 --> 00:47:52,832 Until we meet again. 656 00:47:58,087 --> 00:48:01,007 Patience. l'm proud of you, Chon. 657 00:48:01,049 --> 00:48:03,551 We must find the seal. 658 00:48:06,054 --> 00:48:07,305 What do you see? 659 00:48:07,388 --> 00:48:09,349 Shh, shh, shh! 660 00:48:12,727 --> 00:48:16,272 He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk. 661 00:48:16,356 --> 00:48:17,815 That was my father's! 662 00:48:17,857 --> 00:48:19,359 l must avenge his honor. 663 00:48:19,442 --> 00:48:21,861 Hey, slow down, tiger. Slow down. 664 00:48:21,903 --> 00:48:24,405 Quit going all Chinese on me. 665 00:48:28,284 --> 00:48:29,369 Where is he? 666 00:48:29,452 --> 00:48:32,163 Damn it. Remember your puzzle box. Patience. 667 00:48:33,373 --> 00:48:35,583 Okay, there are no windows. 668 00:48:35,667 --> 00:48:37,669 We just came in through the only doorway. 669 00:48:37,752 --> 00:48:39,420 That leaves one explanation. 670 00:48:39,504 --> 00:48:41,256 Remember in "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy" 671 00:48:41,339 --> 00:48:42,507 how the zombie king got away 672 00:48:42,549 --> 00:48:44,384 when l chased him into the pharaoh's tomb? 673 00:48:44,467 --> 00:48:47,178 There's a secret passageway behind the sphinx. 674 00:48:47,262 --> 00:48:50,640 There's gotta be a lever or a button over here. 675 00:48:50,723 --> 00:48:52,725 Help me lift some stuff up. 676 00:49:06,656 --> 00:49:07,657 Roy! 677 00:49:07,740 --> 00:49:10,118 The painting. lt's looking at me. 678 00:49:10,159 --> 00:49:11,411 -Look! -Oh, yeah. 679 00:49:11,494 --> 00:49:13,580 Looks like it's looking at me. That's great. 680 00:49:13,663 --> 00:49:15,832 No, real eyes. Moving! 681 00:49:15,915 --> 00:49:18,251 That kid got to you, didn't he? 682 00:49:18,334 --> 00:49:20,628 Unbelievable! We're not in a haunted house. 683 00:49:20,670 --> 00:49:22,755 That's a technique that an artist uses. 684 00:49:22,797 --> 00:49:25,800 "Ubiquitous gaze" or "pursuant eyes" is the technical term. 685 00:49:25,884 --> 00:49:28,887 lt's unnerving, though. l'll give you that. 686 00:49:32,974 --> 00:49:36,936 Roy. Now, those eyes. Look! 687 00:49:36,978 --> 00:49:38,438 Whatever you say, Chon. 688 00:49:43,568 --> 00:49:46,362 Let's see what you got here, Rathbone. 689 00:49:51,743 --> 00:49:52,952 Roy! 690 00:49:55,288 --> 00:49:58,291 What, Chon? Are the statues moving now? 691 00:50:36,246 --> 00:50:37,038 Roy! 692 00:50:37,789 --> 00:50:42,001 l can't hear myself think with you shouting at me. 693 00:50:43,169 --> 00:50:44,295 Chon? 694 00:50:46,339 --> 00:50:49,509 Chon? Chon? 695 00:50:50,844 --> 00:50:52,095 This is ridiculous. 696 00:50:52,178 --> 00:50:54,806 lf you want to act like a child and play games... 697 00:50:54,848 --> 00:50:56,349 then find someone else... 698 00:50:56,391 --> 00:50:57,809 'cause l take this stuff seriously. 699 00:50:57,892 --> 00:51:00,687 l'm here to work. l'm on a mission. 700 00:51:02,564 --> 00:51:03,648 Chon? 701 00:51:05,358 --> 00:51:06,526 Okay, Chon. 702 00:51:06,609 --> 00:51:09,696 Okay, you little Chinese otter. 703 00:51:09,737 --> 00:51:11,072 Let's play. 704 00:51:26,796 --> 00:51:27,922 Chon, demons! 705 00:51:46,816 --> 00:51:49,694 She's gonna fight my battles for me. 706 00:51:49,777 --> 00:51:52,488 Come on. Let's go. 707 00:51:53,615 --> 00:51:56,159 What? What are you doing? 708 00:51:56,242 --> 00:51:58,786 lt's kinky. l like it. 709 00:52:05,752 --> 00:52:08,338 Wow! Look at this. 710 00:53:17,740 --> 00:53:20,243 Wait. There's something different about this room. 711 00:53:33,548 --> 00:53:34,591 Hey. 712 00:54:03,953 --> 00:54:05,663 Let's go! 713 00:54:06,873 --> 00:54:08,750 -Wang! -Chon, for God's sakes. 714 00:54:08,833 --> 00:54:11,044 -Now he shows up. -l found it. 715 00:54:11,085 --> 00:54:13,004 Wait. Do you want to hear? 716 00:54:13,588 --> 00:54:15,548 The seal's gone. 717 00:54:49,457 --> 00:54:50,500 Lin. 718 00:54:52,210 --> 00:54:53,294 Roy! 719 00:54:54,128 --> 00:54:56,297 Are we gonna come back? 720 00:54:56,381 --> 00:54:58,132 Roy! 721 00:55:07,725 --> 00:55:10,270 Must you keep doing that? 722 00:55:10,311 --> 00:55:13,481 l was taught not to be seen or heard. 723 00:55:14,983 --> 00:55:16,109 The seal. 724 00:55:16,150 --> 00:55:17,902 l am a man of my word. 725 00:55:21,489 --> 00:55:24,242 l remember watching my brother play with this 726 00:55:24,325 --> 00:55:25,785 like a baby rattle. 727 00:55:27,662 --> 00:55:32,166 When l'd try to touch it, the dowager empress beat me. 728 00:55:33,209 --> 00:55:35,253 No doubt your deprived childhood 729 00:55:35,336 --> 00:55:37,589 made you into the man you are today. 730 00:55:37,672 --> 00:55:39,799 Wu Chow. 731 00:55:39,841 --> 00:55:41,467 Wu who? 732 00:55:41,509 --> 00:55:43,803 He is the emperor's bastard brother. 733 00:55:43,887 --> 00:55:46,347 He was banished from the Forbidden City 734 00:55:46,389 --> 00:55:48,224 for trying to steal the lmperial Seal. 735 00:55:48,308 --> 00:55:49,601 Our father caught him. 736 00:55:49,642 --> 00:55:52,645 He vowed to return to claim the emperor's throne. 737 00:55:52,687 --> 00:55:55,440 This guy? 738 00:55:55,523 --> 00:55:58,026 l'll assume everything has been arranged as discussed. 739 00:55:58,151 --> 00:56:01,029 You have nothing to worry about. lt's all in place. 740 00:56:01,029 --> 00:56:04,157 That diamond is as big as a damn monkey's paw. 741 00:56:04,199 --> 00:56:05,742 -Look at that. -Roy. 742 00:56:05,825 --> 00:56:07,452 Don't even think about it. 743 00:56:07,535 --> 00:56:10,246 l'm just admiring the craftsmanship, Chon. 744 00:56:10,330 --> 00:56:13,708 So for now, our business is completed. 745 00:56:21,382 --> 00:56:22,675 Where's Lin?! 746 00:56:36,981 --> 00:56:38,024 Hey! Hey! 747 00:56:43,071 --> 00:56:44,489 Gotcha! 748 00:56:46,157 --> 00:56:48,576 Just looking out for number one. 749 00:56:48,660 --> 00:56:49,494 No! 750 00:56:50,203 --> 00:56:51,704 The kid got the seal! 751 00:57:08,513 --> 00:57:09,848 Chon! 752 00:57:19,023 --> 00:57:20,191 lt's stuck. 753 00:57:29,701 --> 00:57:30,451 Lin! 754 00:57:42,797 --> 00:57:44,883 Go! You can do it! 755 00:57:44,966 --> 00:57:48,303 She's got it. 756 00:57:48,386 --> 00:57:49,429 She's got it! 757 00:57:49,512 --> 00:57:51,973 Roy! Come on! 758 00:57:52,015 --> 00:57:54,434 Chon, what in our history together 759 00:57:54,517 --> 00:57:56,978 makes you think l'm capable of something like that? 760 00:57:57,103 --> 00:57:58,646 -Roy! -l can't do that! 761 00:57:58,688 --> 00:57:59,606 Hurry up! 762 00:57:59,647 --> 00:58:01,649 Wait. 763 00:58:01,733 --> 00:58:03,443 There's a better way. 764 00:58:13,953 --> 00:58:15,079 Slow down! 765 00:58:15,163 --> 00:58:16,581 l'm a bat out of hell! 766 00:58:16,623 --> 00:58:18,374 Yee-haw! 767 00:58:18,458 --> 00:58:19,792 Besides, l don't know where the brake is. 768 00:58:19,876 --> 00:58:20,877 What?! 769 00:58:24,589 --> 00:58:26,424 Look out! 770 00:58:48,363 --> 00:58:49,989 So, what now, buddy? 771 00:58:50,031 --> 00:58:53,451 Relax, relax. Smooth sailing from here. 772 00:59:02,710 --> 00:59:05,839 Yes, these are the men who attacked me. 773 00:59:05,922 --> 00:59:10,176 l'm afraid the assailants have temporarily eluded us, my Lord. 774 00:59:10,218 --> 00:59:12,178 Perhaps you could explain to me 775 00:59:12,220 --> 00:59:15,306 how Loony Lin managed to escape 776 00:59:15,390 --> 00:59:18,017 from the confines of Scotland Yard under the watch 777 00:59:18,101 --> 00:59:22,564 of the most respected police force in the world. 778 00:59:22,605 --> 00:59:25,733 Yes, of course. lt's absolutely fascinating. 779 00:59:25,817 --> 00:59:27,902 She picked the lock 780 00:59:27,986 --> 00:59:31,364 using a deck of rather risque playing cards. 781 00:59:31,447 --> 00:59:35,743 Then scaled the walls with a mop, a fork... 782 00:59:35,785 --> 00:59:38,204 and various pilfered undergarments. 783 00:59:38,288 --> 00:59:39,956 You've got to hand it to the Chinese. 784 00:59:40,039 --> 00:59:42,625 They're awfully ingenious, Lord, aren't they? 785 00:59:43,918 --> 00:59:46,337 Does your incompetence know no bounds?! 786 01:00:15,825 --> 01:00:17,702 Where am l? 787 01:00:18,828 --> 01:00:21,080 Lin! 788 01:00:21,122 --> 01:00:23,291 l don't even know these women. 789 01:00:26,503 --> 01:00:30,256 Lin, what are you doing here? 790 01:00:30,340 --> 01:00:32,091 Oh, Lord. 791 01:00:32,133 --> 01:00:35,011 Do you want to try the position on page 3 7? 792 01:00:40,058 --> 01:00:42,393 Come here, you little minx. 793 01:00:44,312 --> 01:00:46,231 What? 794 01:00:58,826 --> 01:01:00,787 -You okay? -No, l'm not okay. 795 01:01:00,828 --> 01:01:03,206 l've just been violated by a barnyard animal. 796 01:01:07,460 --> 01:01:10,922 Who would leave a pile of stones in the middle of the field? 797 01:01:11,005 --> 01:01:14,050 l don't know, Chon. These people are nuts. 798 01:01:15,677 --> 01:01:17,011 Come on. 799 01:01:20,473 --> 01:01:24,519 -Can l tell you something? -What? 800 01:01:24,602 --> 01:01:26,938 This is a hell of a damn adventure we're on. 801 01:01:27,021 --> 01:01:29,232 l'm having an absolute ball with you. 802 01:01:31,734 --> 01:01:33,069 Me too. 803 01:01:37,866 --> 01:01:39,701 Here we go. 804 01:01:39,784 --> 01:01:41,619 Get your thumb out, maharaja. 805 01:01:41,703 --> 01:01:43,162 -Why? -Get over here. 806 01:01:44,247 --> 01:01:45,957 Excuse me! 807 01:01:47,792 --> 01:01:49,210 -Lin! -Lin! 808 01:01:57,302 --> 01:01:59,804 My shoulder's getting a little tight. 809 01:02:00,972 --> 01:02:03,474 This is your first time in England, isn't it? 810 01:02:04,475 --> 01:02:07,395 How do you know your way around? lt's incredible. 811 01:02:07,478 --> 01:02:09,898 l always had a good sense of direction. 812 01:02:09,981 --> 01:02:11,858 You can say that again. 813 01:02:11,900 --> 01:02:15,236 l wish we could say the same about you-know-who. 814 01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,030 l once sent him over a mountain range. 815 01:02:17,071 --> 01:02:18,489 He was lost forever. 816 01:02:19,574 --> 01:02:22,202 One time, l sent him over the Great Wall. 817 01:02:22,285 --> 01:02:26,039 -He was lost for three days. -Three days?! 818 01:02:27,582 --> 01:02:30,418 Oh, gosh, we got a lot in common. 819 01:02:30,502 --> 01:02:32,921 l've never met anybody like you, Roy. 820 01:02:33,004 --> 01:02:34,839 -Really? -Yeah. 821 01:02:35,757 --> 01:02:39,636 Hey, can l tell you something without you getting offended? 822 01:02:39,719 --> 01:02:41,012 What? 823 01:02:41,095 --> 01:02:44,224 You have a great body. 824 01:02:44,265 --> 01:02:47,227 There. l said it. lt's out in the open. 825 01:02:49,562 --> 01:02:52,148 -You must work out. -Me? 826 01:02:52,232 --> 01:02:53,399 Excuse me. 827 01:02:55,443 --> 01:02:58,029 Chon, what are you doing? 828 01:02:58,112 --> 01:03:00,490 l don't like the backseat. 829 01:03:00,532 --> 01:03:03,868 Makes me sick. Dizzy. 830 01:03:10,291 --> 01:03:12,544 Whitechapel. 831 01:03:12,627 --> 01:03:15,046 This looks like a nice enough neighborhood. 832 01:03:18,258 --> 01:03:20,802 -What is Puss 'n' Boots? -lt's a boardinghouse. 833 01:03:20,885 --> 01:03:24,264 Some of the sailors on the ship coming over recommended it. 834 01:03:28,601 --> 01:03:31,271 Come on. Come on! 835 01:03:39,487 --> 01:03:41,197 l won't let my sister stay here. 836 01:03:41,281 --> 01:03:43,408 What are we supposed to do? Check in to the Savoy? 837 01:03:43,491 --> 01:03:45,285 We'll get arrested before we get to our room. 838 01:03:45,368 --> 01:03:47,036 l don't mind this place. 839 01:03:50,999 --> 01:03:54,878 See? She's a little open-minded. 840 01:03:55,503 --> 01:03:57,422 l know this sounds crazy 'cause l just met her... 841 01:03:57,505 --> 01:04:00,300 but l think l'm falling for her. 842 01:04:00,341 --> 01:04:01,593 l think she's the one. 843 01:04:01,676 --> 01:04:03,386 Roy, she's my baby sister. 844 01:04:03,469 --> 01:04:05,513 l know she is. Thank God! 845 01:04:05,597 --> 01:04:06,973 That's the only chance l've got. 846 01:04:07,056 --> 01:04:09,017 l'm getting ready to launch a little thing 847 01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:10,852 called "Operation Sweep Her Off Her Feet." 848 01:04:10,935 --> 01:04:12,979 You're in a position to talk me up. 849 01:04:13,062 --> 01:04:14,397 Can l count on you? 850 01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:16,524 Please, buddy, l've never asked you for anything. 851 01:04:16,608 --> 01:04:18,985 Sure, Roy. l'll tell her the truth. 852 01:04:19,027 --> 01:04:20,403 Don't get hung up on the truth. 853 01:04:20,486 --> 01:04:23,031 Feel free to smooth out your old pal's rough edges. 854 01:04:25,116 --> 01:04:27,202 l love you, buddy. 855 01:04:30,914 --> 01:04:33,625 Lin. Come. 856 01:04:38,379 --> 01:04:39,672 Sit. 857 01:05:05,406 --> 01:05:06,741 Hello, love. 858 01:05:06,783 --> 01:05:08,201 Fancy a tumble? 859 01:05:08,243 --> 01:05:11,454 Oh! Where were you two days ago? 860 01:05:11,538 --> 01:05:13,706 l would have bedded you in a second. 861 01:05:13,790 --> 01:05:15,416 Now you're looking at a changed man. 862 01:05:15,500 --> 01:05:18,503 l'm sort of saving myself for someone special. 863 01:05:18,586 --> 01:05:20,421 l'll give you a discount. 864 01:05:21,589 --> 01:05:26,010 That's the most romantic thing any woman's ever said to me. 865 01:05:26,052 --> 01:05:28,263 You better go. 866 01:05:28,346 --> 01:05:30,473 You better go before we lose control. Go! 867 01:05:30,557 --> 01:05:32,725 lf you change your mind... 868 01:05:32,767 --> 01:05:33,852 Roy! 869 01:05:42,277 --> 01:05:45,613 Our father would talk about the right man for you. 870 01:05:45,697 --> 01:05:48,658 He must be strong, courageous... 871 01:05:48,741 --> 01:05:51,286 and a good father. 872 01:05:51,369 --> 01:05:53,746 -Like Roy. -We got her, Chon. 873 01:05:53,788 --> 01:05:55,582 Not like Roy. 874 01:05:55,623 --> 01:05:57,417 You don't know him like l do. 875 01:05:57,500 --> 01:06:00,378 He has many bad habits. 876 01:06:00,420 --> 01:06:01,588 Such as? 877 01:06:01,629 --> 01:06:05,425 He drinks, smokes, and he gambles. 878 01:06:05,508 --> 01:06:07,093 Chon, where are you going with this? 879 01:06:07,177 --> 01:06:09,095 He sleeps with women for money. 880 01:06:09,179 --> 01:06:10,430 What are you -- 881 01:06:10,513 --> 01:06:14,434 Roy don't do that. l can see inside him. 882 01:06:14,517 --> 01:06:15,935 He has a good heart. 883 01:06:15,977 --> 01:06:17,103 That's right. 884 01:06:17,145 --> 01:06:20,565 His salmon don't swim upstream. 885 01:06:20,648 --> 01:06:21,941 He shoots blanks. 886 01:06:23,318 --> 01:06:25,778 Lin, he cannot be trusted. 887 01:06:25,820 --> 01:06:29,324 How could you say that? You're his friend. 888 01:06:29,407 --> 01:06:31,868 Yeah, sort of. 889 01:06:31,951 --> 01:06:33,369 Roy is the type of a friend 890 01:06:33,453 --> 01:06:35,788 you'd never introduce to your other friends 891 01:06:35,830 --> 01:06:37,624 or bring home to your family. 892 01:06:37,665 --> 01:06:40,418 He never speak the truth. You know what l call him? 893 01:06:40,502 --> 01:06:43,338 Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Baloney. 894 01:06:44,923 --> 01:06:46,591 l don't care. 895 01:06:46,633 --> 01:06:48,760 Lin, l forbid it. 896 01:06:49,802 --> 01:06:51,804 You are not my father. 897 01:07:02,106 --> 01:07:04,692 Roy, there you are. 898 01:07:04,776 --> 01:07:07,320 -Hi. -Mm-hmm. 899 01:07:07,362 --> 01:07:10,490 You need anything, buddy? 900 01:07:10,532 --> 01:07:13,660 A whole lot of "leave me alone." 901 01:07:16,204 --> 01:07:17,539 What's wrong? 902 01:07:19,874 --> 01:07:20,834 Nothing. 903 01:07:20,875 --> 01:07:22,836 l woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 904 01:07:22,877 --> 01:07:26,047 l feel a little pain in my back like someone put a knife there. 905 01:07:26,130 --> 01:07:27,882 l'm okay. 906 01:07:27,966 --> 01:07:29,801 Don't worry about me. 907 01:07:39,102 --> 01:07:40,895 Roy! 908 01:07:47,026 --> 01:07:49,279 That actually reminds me of a trick. 909 01:07:49,362 --> 01:07:51,322 You ever seen this one?! 910 01:07:51,406 --> 01:07:52,532 Or this one?! 911 01:07:53,575 --> 01:07:56,244 You think you're so cool with your karate 912 01:07:56,327 --> 01:07:58,913 and your childlike reflexes. 913 01:08:01,416 --> 01:08:02,750 Roy, you okay? 914 01:08:03,418 --> 01:08:05,503 Look at you. 915 01:08:05,587 --> 01:08:08,506 Do you really call me Roy Baloney? 916 01:08:11,759 --> 01:08:13,344 Roy, you don't understand. 917 01:08:13,428 --> 01:08:16,264 You just smashed my puzzle box. 918 01:08:17,307 --> 01:08:19,392 l'll never figure out my message. 919 01:08:19,475 --> 01:08:21,311 -Roy... -Go. 920 01:08:23,354 --> 01:08:25,148 You're dead to me. 921 01:08:25,231 --> 01:08:27,609 l don't know a Chon Wang. 922 01:08:41,623 --> 01:08:42,624 What? 923 01:08:42,707 --> 01:08:44,918 Hi, Roy. 924 01:08:46,002 --> 01:08:47,754 Who loves you, baby? 925 01:08:47,837 --> 01:08:50,507 -Nice try, Chon. -Roy... 926 01:08:50,590 --> 01:08:52,258 l'm sorry. 927 01:08:57,472 --> 01:09:00,308 You do that again, and you're a dead man. 928 01:09:11,069 --> 01:09:12,153 Pillow fight! 929 01:09:39,848 --> 01:09:41,432 l am Roy Baloney! 930 01:09:41,516 --> 01:09:42,517 Yes! 931 01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:43,601 l'm full of it! 932 01:09:43,643 --> 01:09:44,978 You are! 933 01:10:12,380 --> 01:10:14,007 Roy? 934 01:10:14,048 --> 01:10:17,677 -Roy? 935 01:10:19,846 --> 01:10:20,763 Lin! 936 01:10:25,727 --> 01:10:27,645 lt was his idea. 937 01:10:28,897 --> 01:10:30,231 -Chon! -Clothes! 938 01:11:02,847 --> 01:11:04,516 Nice night for a walk. 939 01:11:13,274 --> 01:11:14,234 Lin! 940 01:11:14,317 --> 01:11:15,777 -Lin! -There you are! 941 01:11:15,860 --> 01:11:16,861 What are you doing? 942 01:11:16,903 --> 01:11:19,572 Don't you know there's a serial killer on the loose? 943 01:11:19,656 --> 01:11:21,407 Forget it. 944 01:11:29,374 --> 01:11:31,209 Who the hell are these guys? 945 01:11:31,251 --> 01:11:32,210 Boxers. 946 01:11:32,252 --> 01:11:33,753 What do they want with us? 947 01:11:33,795 --> 01:11:36,047 They're with me. 948 01:11:38,508 --> 01:11:41,886 l think we need to have a little chat. 949 01:11:51,396 --> 01:11:53,523 Chon Wang -- 950 01:11:53,606 --> 01:11:56,359 the man who can fight an emperor. 951 01:11:56,442 --> 01:11:59,112 The emperor should never have his burial knife. 952 01:11:59,195 --> 01:12:00,822 l see. 953 01:12:00,864 --> 01:12:03,324 You're still my brother's lapdog. 954 01:12:03,408 --> 01:12:05,243 l'm here not for him. 955 01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:08,121 l'm here for my father. 956 01:12:08,204 --> 01:12:10,081 Of course you are. 957 01:12:13,209 --> 01:12:16,754 lt was my dagger that plunged into his heart. 958 01:12:16,838 --> 01:12:18,840 lt's still crusted with his blood. 959 01:12:23,678 --> 01:12:26,055 l know the boy has the seal. 960 01:12:26,139 --> 01:12:27,307 Where is he? 961 01:12:27,348 --> 01:12:28,433 We don't know. 962 01:12:28,474 --> 01:12:30,435 That's the truth -- we don't know. 963 01:12:30,518 --> 01:12:32,353 Mmm... 964 01:12:33,313 --> 01:12:35,773 What are you -- What are you doing? 965 01:12:39,694 --> 01:12:41,321 Stop! Put her down! 966 01:12:42,405 --> 01:12:43,948 Put her down! Put her down! 967 01:12:44,032 --> 01:12:45,783 Or what, Mr. O'Bannon? 968 01:12:45,867 --> 01:12:48,203 Are you gonna kick my ass? 969 01:12:48,286 --> 01:12:51,497 l've read all about your ridiculous exploits. 970 01:12:51,623 --> 01:12:53,041 l mean, just... 971 01:12:53,124 --> 01:12:57,378 how does it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands? 972 01:12:57,504 --> 01:12:59,672 Only a nation of uneducated rednecks 973 01:12:59,672 --> 01:13:02,383 would be amused by such cowboy drivel. 974 01:13:02,425 --> 01:13:04,511 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. 975 01:13:04,552 --> 01:13:06,846 What's with the personal attacks? 976 01:13:06,888 --> 01:13:08,598 You don't see me making any comments 977 01:13:08,681 --> 01:13:12,060 about your pasty complexion or your snotty accent 978 01:13:12,143 --> 01:13:15,146 or even your filthy, smutty sex books. 979 01:13:15,230 --> 01:13:17,232 Yeah, l saw your book. lt disgusted me. 980 01:13:19,859 --> 01:13:22,278 Oh, why is it always the head with you people?! 981 01:13:23,947 --> 01:13:26,658 Hold it! Stop! Hold it! 982 01:13:26,741 --> 01:13:27,825 Just hold it! 983 01:13:27,909 --> 01:13:30,828 What are we doing here? Guys, look at this. 984 01:13:30,912 --> 01:13:33,540 We're acting like animals... over what? 985 01:13:33,623 --> 01:13:34,832 Some seal? 986 01:13:34,916 --> 01:13:37,502 The seal represents imperial power. 987 01:13:38,253 --> 01:13:40,964 l will use it to unite the emperor's enemies 988 01:13:41,047 --> 01:13:44,008 and storm the Forbidden City. 989 01:13:44,092 --> 01:13:45,510 What's in it for you? 990 01:13:45,593 --> 01:13:47,762 You're looking at the future king of England. 991 01:13:47,846 --> 01:13:49,764 You're, like, 20th in line to the throne. 992 01:13:49,806 --> 01:13:51,099 10th. 993 01:13:51,182 --> 01:13:53,309 But my friend is about to change all that 994 01:13:53,393 --> 01:13:56,771 by simple... process of elimination. 995 01:14:00,942 --> 01:14:02,986 lt's called a machine gun. 996 01:14:03,069 --> 01:14:06,364 The first of its kind -- it fires 200 rounds a minute. 997 01:14:06,447 --> 01:14:08,700 Testament to British ingenuity. 998 01:14:08,783 --> 01:14:11,619 Oh, so you steal the seal, 999 01:14:11,703 --> 01:14:13,788 and then you knock off nine royals? 1000 01:14:15,540 --> 01:14:18,084 You got the short end of that stick, my friend. 1001 01:14:22,130 --> 01:14:23,673 Dump them in the river. 1002 01:14:25,550 --> 01:14:26,968 Where are you taking her? 1003 01:14:27,051 --> 01:14:28,928 To make history. 1004 01:14:28,970 --> 01:14:31,181 l can already see the headlines -- 1005 01:14:31,264 --> 01:14:35,435 "Nation mourns as Loony Lin massacres royal family." 1006 01:14:49,324 --> 01:14:53,745 l need your assurance that you will find the seal. 1007 01:14:53,828 --> 01:14:55,455 Don't concern yourself. 1008 01:14:55,496 --> 01:14:57,540 My men are scouring the city. 1009 01:14:57,582 --> 01:15:02,670 You better pray they find it... or our agreement is over, 1010 01:15:02,712 --> 01:15:07,091 and you will never get the crown. 1011 01:15:13,765 --> 01:15:16,601 Chon, l got a confession to make. 1012 01:15:16,643 --> 01:15:18,853 You are in love with my sister. 1013 01:15:18,937 --> 01:15:20,939 Well, that, but... 1014 01:15:21,022 --> 01:15:23,691 l didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins. 1015 01:15:23,775 --> 01:15:25,193 No? 1016 01:15:25,276 --> 01:15:29,572 Nah. l blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels. 1017 01:15:29,656 --> 01:15:31,074 l wrote them. 1018 01:15:31,199 --> 01:15:32,784 No, Sage McCallister wrote them. 1019 01:15:32,867 --> 01:15:36,037 That's what l'm saying, buddy. l'm Sage McCallister. 1020 01:15:41,042 --> 01:15:42,502 You wrote those lies?! 1021 01:15:42,627 --> 01:15:44,504 l've always had low self-esteem. 1022 01:15:44,546 --> 01:15:46,047 How many books did you print? 1023 01:15:46,130 --> 01:15:48,299 l self-published probably a million copies. 1024 01:15:49,342 --> 01:15:51,344 We were actually second to the Bible that year. 1025 01:15:51,386 --> 01:15:52,262 Oh, you -- 1026 01:15:52,345 --> 01:15:54,472 l guess l'm just about the worst friend 1027 01:15:54,514 --> 01:15:56,683 a guy could ask for. 1028 01:15:58,059 --> 01:16:01,396 No, you're a good friend. 1029 01:16:01,479 --> 01:16:02,564 Thank you. 1030 01:16:02,647 --> 01:16:06,025 lf you really love Lin, l won't stand in the way. 1031 01:16:06,109 --> 01:16:07,193 Really? 1032 01:16:07,277 --> 01:16:11,489 But if you break her heart... l'll break your legs. 1033 01:16:11,573 --> 01:16:12,657 That's fair. 1034 01:16:13,950 --> 01:16:17,453 Well, friends to the end, Chon... 1035 01:16:17,537 --> 01:16:19,205 and this is the end. 1036 01:16:23,918 --> 01:16:25,295 Chon, you got a plan? 1037 01:16:25,420 --> 01:16:26,880 You wouldn't happen to have a plan, would you? 1038 01:16:26,963 --> 01:16:28,006 Yes. 1039 01:16:28,089 --> 01:16:29,883 -Anything l can do? -No. 1040 01:16:29,924 --> 01:16:32,760 Good. l'll let you do the heavy lifting, then. 1041 01:16:47,692 --> 01:16:49,611 Chon, hurry. 1042 01:16:55,158 --> 01:16:56,117 Chon! 1043 01:16:56,201 --> 01:16:57,243 Chon! Chon, hurry! 1044 01:16:57,368 --> 01:16:58,494 Hurry! 1045 01:16:58,536 --> 01:17:00,246 Hurry! Chon, hurry! 1046 01:17:00,330 --> 01:17:01,331 Roy! 1047 01:17:05,293 --> 01:17:06,669 Coming! 1048 01:17:08,463 --> 01:17:09,380 Chon! 1049 01:17:13,092 --> 01:17:14,594 The water's so dirty! 1050 01:17:14,677 --> 01:17:16,804 No! No! lt's dirty! No! 1051 01:17:44,541 --> 01:17:48,002 Just go ahead and drown me. l don't care anymore. 1052 01:17:51,714 --> 01:17:52,215 Roy! 1053 01:18:52,025 --> 01:18:53,943 You look ridiculous. 1054 01:18:55,653 --> 01:18:57,155 l think we look good. 1055 01:18:59,490 --> 01:19:02,535 l really must protest this intrusion. 1056 01:19:02,619 --> 01:19:05,747 Every bobby in London is out scouring the streets 1057 01:19:05,788 --> 01:19:06,748 for you two. 1058 01:19:06,789 --> 01:19:08,249 Have you been drinking? 1059 01:19:08,291 --> 01:19:11,669 l always drink when my employment's been terminated. 1060 01:19:11,753 --> 01:19:12,795 They fired you? 1061 01:19:12,879 --> 01:19:14,797 Lord Rathbone saw to that. 1062 01:19:14,881 --> 01:19:15,882 l'm sorry. 1063 01:19:16,925 --> 01:19:18,384 lt's of no consequence. 1064 01:19:18,510 --> 01:19:21,888 l never wanted to be an inspector in the first place. 1065 01:19:21,930 --> 01:19:24,390 lt was my father's idea. 1066 01:19:24,432 --> 01:19:26,601 l always wanted to be a writer. 1067 01:19:27,727 --> 01:19:28,811 Yeah. 1068 01:19:28,937 --> 01:19:30,688 Artie, we need your help. 1069 01:19:30,772 --> 01:19:32,315 Rathbone has taken Lin. 1070 01:19:32,398 --> 01:19:33,858 He's gonna kill the royal family 1071 01:19:33,900 --> 01:19:35,360 and he's gonna assume the throne. 1072 01:19:35,443 --> 01:19:37,904 Do you have any evidence 1073 01:19:37,946 --> 01:19:40,990 to support these preposterous allegations? 1074 01:19:41,074 --> 01:19:43,743 We have this. lt's the boy's. 1075 01:19:43,785 --> 01:19:46,538 Use your technique. Tell us where he is. 1076 01:19:48,581 --> 01:19:51,000 Paraffin wax -- most interesting. 1077 01:19:51,084 --> 01:19:52,502 He's at a church. 1078 01:19:52,585 --> 01:19:54,379 The little punk's hiding in a church. 1079 01:19:54,462 --> 01:19:55,922 No, no, no. 1080 01:19:56,047 --> 01:19:57,924 lt's not candle wax. 1081 01:19:58,007 --> 01:19:59,175 l have it. 1082 01:20:02,971 --> 01:20:04,764 -Don't worry. You'll get it. -What are you doing? 1083 01:20:04,806 --> 01:20:06,766 -He's picking the lock. -Well, hurry up! 1084 01:20:06,808 --> 01:20:10,103 Chon, please! Please. lt's a very meticulous process. 1085 01:20:10,144 --> 01:20:13,565 Let Artie do his job. lt's almost an art form. 1086 01:20:13,606 --> 01:20:15,733 lt takes the precision of a surgeon. 1087 01:20:15,859 --> 01:20:18,111 You have to be so precise. 1088 01:20:18,152 --> 01:20:20,488 Maybe if we jam another one in there. 1089 01:20:24,951 --> 01:20:26,494 That works, too. 1090 01:20:26,578 --> 01:20:28,788 Lacks a certain finesse. 1091 01:20:32,292 --> 01:20:34,460 All right, all right. Let's split up. 1092 01:21:41,152 --> 01:21:42,362 What the... 1093 01:21:46,533 --> 01:21:48,451 l am gonna break your neck. 1094 01:21:48,493 --> 01:21:49,369 Come here. 1095 01:22:30,451 --> 01:22:31,411 Looky here. 1096 01:22:31,452 --> 01:22:33,580 -Come on, where is it? -What? 1097 01:22:33,663 --> 01:22:35,290 You know what l'm talking about. 1098 01:22:35,331 --> 01:22:36,791 Don't give me that "what." 1099 01:22:37,458 --> 01:22:38,793 What do we got here? 1100 01:22:38,877 --> 01:22:40,545 Oh, yes. 1101 01:22:41,629 --> 01:22:43,965 You don't mind if l take this back, do you? 1102 01:22:44,048 --> 01:22:45,592 Go on. Get out of here. 1103 01:22:45,675 --> 01:22:46,593 Go! 1104 01:22:46,676 --> 01:22:47,635 Roy? 1105 01:22:47,719 --> 01:22:48,887 l got it. 1106 01:22:52,015 --> 01:22:53,683 Give me the seal. 1107 01:22:54,642 --> 01:22:56,811 Give me the seal! 1108 01:23:09,365 --> 01:23:11,743 All right, spread out! 1109 01:23:11,784 --> 01:23:12,911 Through there! 1110 01:23:14,245 --> 01:23:15,663 Let's go. 1111 01:23:24,839 --> 01:23:26,841 The gig's up. 1112 01:23:36,142 --> 01:23:38,228 So, what are we gonna do? 1113 01:23:41,022 --> 01:23:42,315 Come on, think! 1114 01:23:42,357 --> 01:23:44,651 l'm not going to an English prison. 1115 01:23:44,692 --> 01:23:47,570 With my feathery blond hair and Chon's athletic build, 1116 01:23:47,654 --> 01:23:49,572 they'll try to make us the belle of the ball. 1117 01:23:49,656 --> 01:23:51,699 Forget it. l'm not going back. 1118 01:23:53,034 --> 01:23:56,246 Well, at least we'll get a good view of the fireworks 1119 01:23:56,329 --> 01:23:57,580 from Scotland Yard. 1120 01:23:57,664 --> 01:23:59,541 -Fireworks? -Yeah. 1121 01:23:59,582 --> 01:24:02,001 At midnight, they're launching this huge display 1122 01:24:02,126 --> 01:24:03,878 from a flotilla of barges on the Thames. 1123 01:24:03,962 --> 01:24:06,881 lt's the official kickoff to the Queen's Jubilee. 1124 01:24:06,923 --> 01:24:08,842 ls the royal family gonna be there? 1125 01:24:09,551 --> 01:24:12,303 They're gonna be viewing the spectacle from a balcony 1126 01:24:12,345 --> 01:24:13,888 overlooking the river. 1127 01:24:13,972 --> 01:24:15,932 He's got a machine gun on the barge. 1128 01:24:17,809 --> 01:24:18,810 Yes. 1129 01:24:27,819 --> 01:24:29,779 You gents lost your way? 1130 01:24:29,863 --> 01:24:31,406 Kid, tell me you got a way out. 1131 01:24:44,502 --> 01:24:46,629 Nice move, kid. 1132 01:24:46,713 --> 01:24:48,089 So why did you come back? 1133 01:24:48,173 --> 01:24:50,758 Why did you give up the seal? 1134 01:24:53,469 --> 01:24:55,054 'Cause l'm a fool. 1135 01:24:56,848 --> 01:24:58,474 Guess l'm a fool, too. 1136 01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:00,685 Well, put her there, fool. 1137 01:25:01,895 --> 01:25:03,062 l never got your name. 1138 01:25:03,146 --> 01:25:05,273 Name's Chaplin... 1139 01:25:05,356 --> 01:25:07,400 Charlie Chaplin. 1140 01:26:07,877 --> 01:26:09,379 -Excuse me. -Excuse me. 1141 01:26:09,462 --> 01:26:10,547 Excuse me, please! 1142 01:26:10,630 --> 01:26:12,465 -Excuse me. -Excuse me. 1143 01:26:20,807 --> 01:26:22,350 You warn the royal family. 1144 01:26:22,433 --> 01:26:23,434 l'll save Lin. 1145 01:26:23,518 --> 01:26:25,395 How on earth are you gonna do that? 1146 01:27:52,815 --> 01:27:54,067 You okay? 1147 01:28:00,281 --> 01:28:01,574 l just saved you! 1148 01:28:01,616 --> 01:28:02,742 You were late! 1149 01:28:02,742 --> 01:28:03,785 What?! 1150 01:28:08,498 --> 01:28:09,666 Nelson? 1151 01:28:22,762 --> 01:28:24,556 Why are you hiding yourself back there? 1152 01:28:24,639 --> 01:28:26,808 l shouldn't like to impede your view, Your Highness. 1153 01:28:26,933 --> 01:28:28,768 Nonsense. You arranged all this. 1154 01:28:28,810 --> 01:28:30,728 You should have a front-row view. 1155 01:28:30,812 --> 01:28:34,315 l regret that, uh, respectfully l must decline. 1156 01:28:34,399 --> 01:28:37,068 l need to keep a good eye on proceedings. 1157 01:28:41,823 --> 01:28:44,200 Nelson, you've outdone yourself. 1158 01:28:44,284 --> 01:28:46,744 Wait till you see the finale. 1159 01:28:51,124 --> 01:28:52,709 Hey! 1160 01:28:55,128 --> 01:28:56,796 Hey! 1161 01:30:08,159 --> 01:30:09,410 This is hopeless. 1162 01:30:09,494 --> 01:30:11,412 We're not gonna get past the guards. 1163 01:30:11,496 --> 01:30:13,081 Well, not with that attitude we won't. 1164 01:30:13,122 --> 01:30:15,083 Come on, Artie. There's got to be a way. 1165 01:30:15,124 --> 01:30:17,126 There's always -- 1166 01:30:30,515 --> 01:30:31,850 Lin! 1167 01:31:07,844 --> 01:31:10,096 Yee-haw! Yeah! 1168 01:31:10,180 --> 01:31:11,890 Yee-haw! 1169 01:31:11,973 --> 01:31:13,349 Yee-haw! 1170 01:31:15,476 --> 01:31:17,061 We got to jump it! 1171 01:32:08,154 --> 01:32:09,864 Wu Chow! 1172 01:32:26,840 --> 01:32:28,758 Hold it right there, Rathboner. 1173 01:32:31,594 --> 01:32:33,096 l'm guessing by your hasty retreat 1174 01:32:33,179 --> 01:32:35,598 that you're still 20th in line for the throne. 1175 01:32:35,682 --> 01:32:36,891 10th. 1176 01:32:36,975 --> 01:32:39,310 lnspector Doyle, arrest this man. 1177 01:32:43,022 --> 01:32:44,023 He's got a gun! 1178 01:32:46,943 --> 01:32:47,944 Come on! 1179 01:32:50,196 --> 01:32:51,281 -Oh! -You okay? 1180 01:32:51,364 --> 01:32:52,615 What happened? 1181 01:32:52,699 --> 01:32:55,076 Rathbone nailed Artie with a little sissy gun. 1182 01:32:55,159 --> 01:32:57,453 l'll look after him. You two go. 1183 01:32:57,579 --> 01:32:59,289 Go! 1184 01:33:06,713 --> 01:33:08,715 For Father. 1185 01:33:08,798 --> 01:33:10,717 For Father. 1186 01:33:10,758 --> 01:33:12,510 For Old Man Wang. 1187 01:33:16,806 --> 01:33:19,809 Oh, my lucky playing cards. 1188 01:33:27,901 --> 01:33:30,069 Be careful. 1189 01:33:30,111 --> 01:33:32,947 Tell Rathbone to be careful. 1190 01:33:33,031 --> 01:33:34,991 Roy, let's go. 1191 01:33:41,831 --> 01:33:43,958 You're gonna need a bigger gun! 1192 01:34:01,893 --> 01:34:03,269 You see him? 1193 01:34:03,311 --> 01:34:04,729 No. 1194 01:34:04,812 --> 01:34:06,689 Show your face, Rathbone! 1195 01:34:06,773 --> 01:34:08,191 l'm gonna tear this guy apart. 1196 01:34:08,274 --> 01:34:10,652 Roy, you go this way. l'll go that way. 1197 01:34:10,735 --> 01:34:13,404 Split up? l don't know if that's a good idea. 1198 01:34:13,488 --> 01:34:14,614 lt's okay. 1199 01:34:23,998 --> 01:34:25,834 He's not up here. 1200 01:34:27,502 --> 01:34:29,128 Roy, keep going. 1201 01:34:32,841 --> 01:34:34,801 Aw, come on, Roy. 1202 01:34:47,814 --> 01:34:50,108 Hey, uh, Rathbone... 1203 01:34:50,191 --> 01:34:53,444 l was just thinking of a title for my new book... 1204 01:34:53,528 --> 01:34:57,198 "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy." 1205 01:34:57,323 --> 01:35:00,910 But what about "Roy O'Bannon vs. The Man Who Would Be Queen"? 1206 01:35:04,289 --> 01:35:05,540 No sign of him, Chon. 1207 01:35:05,623 --> 01:35:07,792 The coast is clear up here. 1208 01:35:13,506 --> 01:35:14,966 Roy! Look out! 1209 01:35:17,552 --> 01:35:18,636 Roy! 1210 01:35:18,720 --> 01:35:19,971 Oops. 1211 01:35:24,058 --> 01:35:25,393 Come on up. 1212 01:35:25,476 --> 01:35:27,604 l'll show you how your father died. 1213 01:36:07,769 --> 01:36:09,854 Lord, help me. 1214 01:36:09,938 --> 01:36:12,524 Just let me know you're there. Love me. Hate me. 1215 01:36:12,607 --> 01:36:14,901 But let me know you're up there! 1216 01:36:14,943 --> 01:36:17,237 Hey, l can see our hotel from here. 1217 01:36:31,292 --> 01:36:33,086 Come along. 1218 01:36:33,127 --> 01:36:34,879 l'm waiting. 1219 01:36:34,963 --> 01:36:38,174 Come on, Roy. Okay. 1220 01:36:38,258 --> 01:36:40,343 Roy O'Bannon will not go quietly. 1221 01:36:40,426 --> 01:36:41,761 You hear that, England?! 1222 01:36:41,803 --> 01:36:43,596 Throw whatever you want at me -- 1223 01:36:43,638 --> 01:36:46,599 your terrible weather, your perverted killers, 1224 01:36:46,641 --> 01:36:48,643 your Spotted Dick! 1225 01:37:25,513 --> 01:37:27,098 Roy, you're about to die. 1226 01:37:27,182 --> 01:37:29,642 You're on the minute hand of a clock. 1227 01:37:29,684 --> 01:37:33,229 My life is flashing before my eyes. 1228 01:37:33,313 --> 01:37:36,274 Wait a minute. l don't remember her. 1229 01:37:51,497 --> 01:37:52,874 One more. 1230 01:38:08,097 --> 01:38:09,265 One more. 1231 01:38:38,419 --> 01:38:40,421 How disappointing. 1232 01:38:43,132 --> 01:38:44,634 One more. 1233 01:38:56,479 --> 01:38:58,857 You killed my friend. 1234 01:39:04,904 --> 01:39:06,447 You killed my father! 1235 01:39:26,217 --> 01:39:28,303 Roy! 1236 01:39:28,386 --> 01:39:30,805 l thought you were dead! Oh! 1237 01:39:30,889 --> 01:39:33,391 You think some tea-drinking psycho 1238 01:39:33,433 --> 01:39:35,435 can take out Roy O'Bannon? 1239 01:39:48,114 --> 01:39:50,116 Easy there, cowboy. 1240 01:40:12,472 --> 01:40:14,015 You got any ideas? 1241 01:40:19,062 --> 01:40:21,189 -We jump! -Jump?! 1242 01:40:22,732 --> 01:40:24,108 You mean fall?! 1243 01:40:24,192 --> 01:40:25,944 Aim for the flag! 1244 01:40:25,985 --> 01:40:27,612 Aw, shit. 1245 01:40:28,905 --> 01:40:30,615 l got to tell you something. 1246 01:40:30,698 --> 01:40:31,783 What? 1247 01:40:31,824 --> 01:40:34,744 You're the best sidekick l could ever ask for. 1248 01:40:34,827 --> 01:40:37,997 Thank you, Roy. l feel the same about you. 1249 01:40:39,332 --> 01:40:40,583 On three. 1250 01:40:40,667 --> 01:40:41,793 One... 1251 01:40:41,876 --> 01:40:43,253 Two... 1252 01:40:43,336 --> 01:40:44,045 -Three! -Three! 1253 01:41:10,989 --> 01:41:12,407 Roy. Roy! 1254 01:41:15,994 --> 01:41:17,495 Howdy. 1255 01:41:21,624 --> 01:41:24,252 ln recognition of outstanding bravery, 1256 01:41:24,335 --> 01:41:27,505 l dub you Sir Chon Wang. 1257 01:41:33,011 --> 01:41:34,929 For uncommon valor, 1258 01:41:35,013 --> 01:41:38,433 l dub you Sir Roy O'Bannon. 1259 01:41:43,855 --> 01:41:47,609 And for steadfast dedication to justice, 1260 01:41:47,692 --> 01:41:50,904 l dub you Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. 1261 01:41:56,201 --> 01:41:57,994 Arise. 1262 01:42:12,800 --> 01:42:15,136 Who loves you, baby? 1263 01:42:31,069 --> 01:42:33,238 Madam. 1264 01:42:35,782 --> 01:42:38,701 Artie, l bet Scotland Yard's dying to get you back now. 1265 01:42:38,785 --> 01:42:40,954 My official crime-fighting days are over. 1266 01:42:41,037 --> 01:42:42,163 The queen has asked me 1267 01:42:42,247 --> 01:42:44,541 to accompany the lmperial Seal back to China. 1268 01:42:44,624 --> 01:42:46,042 What a week. Unbelievable. 1269 01:42:46,125 --> 01:42:48,044 She couldn't have picked a better man, right, Chon? 1270 01:42:48,127 --> 01:42:49,170 Yeah. 1271 01:42:49,254 --> 01:42:52,257 And the voyage is gonna give me time to work on my new novel. 1272 01:42:52,340 --> 01:42:54,551 lt features a new kind of detective, 1273 01:42:54,634 --> 01:42:57,595 and he's gonna solve crimes using deductive reasoning. 1274 01:42:57,679 --> 01:42:59,264 Give me a name. What's his name? 1275 01:42:59,305 --> 01:43:00,807 Actually, Roy, l was rather hoping 1276 01:43:00,890 --> 01:43:03,560 to call him Sherlock Holmes, if that's all right with you. 1277 01:43:05,562 --> 01:43:07,647 l'd be insulted if you didn't use it. 1278 01:43:13,903 --> 01:43:15,822 -Ta. -See you, Artie. 1279 01:43:17,824 --> 01:43:20,159 That was very nice of you, Roy. 1280 01:43:20,201 --> 01:43:22,495 l would've kept the name if l thought it was any good. 1281 01:43:22,579 --> 01:43:24,163 lt's a horrible name for a detective -- 1282 01:43:24,247 --> 01:43:26,416 Sherlock Holmes. Holmes? 1283 01:43:28,042 --> 01:43:29,836 Will you stop playing with that? l'm gonna smash it. 1284 01:43:29,919 --> 01:43:31,171 l just want to see it for a second. 1285 01:43:31,212 --> 01:43:33,256 -Just let me see it. -No, you're gonna break it. 1286 01:43:34,924 --> 01:43:37,343 lt's just a rock with some gibberish on it. 1287 01:43:37,427 --> 01:43:38,928 That's Chinese. 1288 01:43:39,804 --> 01:43:42,849 "Family is forever, my son. 1289 01:43:42,932 --> 01:43:45,768 l'm proud you cast your own stone." 1290 01:43:48,188 --> 01:43:49,731 That's a good message. 1291 01:43:56,738 --> 01:43:59,949 l'd like to cast my own stone, Chon. 1292 01:44:06,664 --> 01:44:08,583 -Hi. -Hi. 1293 01:44:13,713 --> 01:44:16,883 l told you -- the house of O'Bannon will prevail. 1294 01:44:22,764 --> 01:44:24,933 Chon, l got a business proposition for you. 1295 01:44:25,600 --> 01:44:26,893 No more zeppelins. 1296 01:44:26,935 --> 01:44:28,728 No, no, this is much better than zeppelins -- 1297 01:44:28,811 --> 01:44:30,647 a new thing they're starting out in California 1298 01:44:30,730 --> 01:44:32,148 called moving pictures. 1299 01:44:32,232 --> 01:44:33,233 Pass. 1300 01:44:33,274 --> 01:44:34,859 Hold it. Hold it. Hear me out. 1301 01:44:34,943 --> 01:44:37,278 l really think these movies could play to your strength. 1302 01:44:37,362 --> 01:44:38,279 There's no sound, 1303 01:44:38,363 --> 01:44:40,448 so we don't have to worry about the language problem. 1304 01:44:40,532 --> 01:44:44,285 And l think the kung fu stuff could be huge. 1305 01:44:44,369 --> 01:44:46,538 People are dying for a good action picture. 1306 01:44:46,621 --> 01:44:48,206 What do you think? 1307 01:44:48,289 --> 01:44:51,209 Chon Wang, movie star? 1308 01:44:51,292 --> 01:44:52,710 lt could work. 1309 01:44:52,752 --> 01:44:56,047 l feel bad about ditching that Chaplin kid, 1310 01:44:56,130 --> 01:44:58,466 but we're gonna be running and gunning in Hollywood, 1311 01:44:58,591 --> 01:45:01,010 and he'd just cramp our style. 1312 01:45:01,052 --> 01:45:03,221 lt's such a tough town. 1313 01:45:19,279 --> 01:45:21,698 Bloody tourists! 1314 01:45:21,865 --> 01:45:23,283 Action! 1315 01:45:40,425 --> 01:45:41,759 You have to say "cut." 1316 01:45:43,094 --> 01:45:45,180 You just keep looking! 1317 01:45:52,478 --> 01:45:55,064 Come here, you little minx. 1318 01:45:55,148 --> 01:45:56,357 Cut. 1319 01:45:56,441 --> 01:45:57,859 That was good. 1320 01:45:57,984 --> 01:45:59,611 That was a good one, huh? 1321 01:46:01,029 --> 01:46:04,616 Maybe on this one l should lick you...you think? 1322 01:46:04,699 --> 01:46:07,785 Like, after you lick me -- that could be kind of good. 1323 01:46:07,869 --> 01:46:09,662 And, Jackie... 1324 01:46:09,704 --> 01:46:10,830 Jackie? 1325 01:46:10,914 --> 01:46:12,790 Thank you. Hi, Owen. 1326 01:46:12,832 --> 01:46:14,000 Hello. How are you? 1327 01:46:14,042 --> 01:46:16,503 Okay, and l'm not Roy O'Bannon. 1328 01:46:16,544 --> 01:46:17,670 Who are you? 1329 01:46:19,380 --> 01:46:21,132 Damn it, Chon, l think she's the one. 1330 01:46:21,216 --> 01:46:23,843 l know it's crazy. We just met, but she's the one. 1331 01:46:23,885 --> 01:46:26,721 No, Roy, she's my babysitter. 1332 01:46:28,890 --> 01:46:30,475 Your babys-- 1333 01:46:30,558 --> 01:46:32,143 What? 1334 01:46:32,227 --> 01:46:33,686 Baby what? 1335 01:46:33,728 --> 01:46:34,896 Baby sister. 1336 01:46:34,979 --> 01:46:36,523 Baby sister? 1337 01:46:36,564 --> 01:46:38,858 Not babysitter. Baby sister. 1338 01:46:51,538 --> 01:46:52,664 You okay? 1339 01:46:54,374 --> 01:46:55,333 Action! 1340 01:46:58,253 --> 01:46:59,796 What happened? 1341 01:46:59,879 --> 01:47:02,507 Roy is the type of a friend you never introduce 1342 01:47:02,590 --> 01:47:05,301 to your other friends or bring into your family. 1343 01:47:05,385 --> 01:47:08,972 He's -- Look at his eyes. They're brown -- full of shit. 1344 01:47:09,055 --> 01:47:10,807 Always... 1345 01:47:10,890 --> 01:47:12,809 Just bullshit all the time. 1346 01:47:12,892 --> 01:47:14,435 Yeah, have you ever heard of those? 1347 01:47:14,561 --> 01:47:16,980 They're parents. We have parents that love us. 1348 01:47:17,063 --> 01:47:19,482 You don't, 'cause you're a little orphan. 1349 01:47:21,401 --> 01:47:24,487 You don't -- We've got par-- Yeah, parents. 1350 01:47:24,571 --> 01:47:26,990 Have you ever heard of those? We've got parents that love us. 1351 01:47:27,073 --> 01:47:29,826 But you don't, 'cause you're a little orphan. 1352 01:47:31,077 --> 01:47:32,954 Oh, go on. 1353 01:47:33,913 --> 01:47:36,374 So mean. 1354 01:47:36,416 --> 01:47:39,669 Chon Wang, movie star? 1355 01:47:39,752 --> 01:47:41,004 lt could work. 1356 01:47:41,087 --> 01:47:43,840 lt could work. You could do your own stunts. 1357 01:47:43,923 --> 01:47:45,675 What? My own stunts? 1358 01:47:51,764 --> 01:47:53,433 Whoa! Whoa! 1359 01:47:54,434 --> 01:47:58,188 Stay here and be a good horsey for the new sheriff. 1360 01:48:00,440 --> 01:48:02,192 That hurt. 1361 01:48:18,875 --> 01:48:21,044 You're supposed to catch me! 1362 01:48:21,127 --> 01:48:22,253 Roy, catch. 1363 01:48:29,552 --> 01:48:31,721 -Jesus. -That's my fault. 1364 01:48:31,804 --> 01:48:33,181 Wait a second. 1365 01:48:33,264 --> 01:48:35,683 This nut is killing your street women? 1366 01:48:39,771 --> 01:48:41,856 Who did that? 1367 01:48:41,940 --> 01:48:42,941 Jackie Chan. 1368 01:48:42,982 --> 01:48:43,983 Me? 1369 01:48:44,067 --> 01:48:45,318 That's right. 1370 01:48:46,569 --> 01:48:48,738 -That was the... -First time. 1371 01:48:48,821 --> 01:48:50,740 -The best take. -l'm sorry. 1372 01:48:50,823 --> 01:48:52,116 Hurry up! 1373 01:48:52,200 --> 01:48:53,826 Are you crazy?! l can't do that! 1374 01:48:53,910 --> 01:48:56,371 This isn't Chinatown! l can't sail through the air! 1375 01:48:56,412 --> 01:48:58,373 -l'm not gonna break my neck! -Roy! 1376 01:48:58,456 --> 01:48:59,707 What in our history together 1377 01:48:59,749 --> 01:49:02,293 makes you think l'm capable of something like that? 1378 01:49:02,335 --> 01:49:03,294 lt's getting bigger! 1379 01:49:03,336 --> 01:49:04,462 There's got to be a better way. 1380 01:49:04,504 --> 01:49:05,338 Roy! 1381 01:49:06,506 --> 01:49:07,882 Roy!