1 00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:05,631 Last week on shameless, this is what we were doing. 2 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,509 Your house is frank's wet dream. Never gonna get him out. 3 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,261 Eddie: I can't afford to live somewhere else and support you. 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,971 Can't you stay with uncle ray? 5 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:16,683 I want the new stock shelved with the labels facing the same direction. 6 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,229 - We have a whole night together. - Your house where you live with Linda. 7 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,397 I'm gay, dude, not queer. 8 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,608 Five hundred and eighty-seven dollars. 9 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:27,528 Lip: I'm taking the psats for some Polish kid at ridgedale. 10 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,072 I told Richie your rates went up. He's giving 150. 11 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,115 - See you in three hours. - Be out in two. 12 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:39,623 I am going to a wedding today. I am really gonna do it this time. 13 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:40,958 You're coming, mom? 14 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:46,672 - I'll just get you a piece of cake, mom. - That would just be... 15 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:07,711 [Man chattering indistinctly on radio] 16 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,984 Brush your teeth. I wanna play. 17 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:43,914 - Smoothie. - Thanks. 18 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:48,043 Hello, Liam. Are you having fun? 19 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,548 Didn't Fiona tell you to stop electrocuting dolls? 20 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:57,010 They have to pay for their sins. 21 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,766 [Fiona and Steve breathing heavily] 22 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,268 -You almost there? Steve: What? 23 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:08,105 - I gotta make lunches. - Tell me more. 24 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:12,109 - Well, first I cut off the crusts. - —uh-huh. 25 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:16,613 - Then I put the apple slices in a baggie. - Don't stop. 26 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,990 You look amazing. 27 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,368 - Hurry up. - I don't wanna go before you. 28 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,995 I already had a couple. 29 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,707 You didn't make a sound. 30 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,668 Big family. Thin walls. 31 00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,962 When you consider how humans evolved... 32 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,381 They were probably used to mating in public. 33 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,842 - A pioneer really wanted to get freaky... - Steve. 34 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,386 - What? - Steve. I'm late. Focus. 35 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,977 Fiona: Damn it. Carl! 36 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,896 Carl: It's not me. Hector's at the pole again. 37 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,023 Fiona: Hector. 38 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,486 Hey, Hector. Is there any way you could...? 39 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,448 I can't this time. Third red notice this year. I'm sorry. 40 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,200 Not the first time we got shut off. Won't be the last. 41 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:06,580 - Scrape the money together today? - We have it. She just forgot to pay it. 42 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,958 I took an extra shift yesterday and I just spaced it. 43 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:13,044 Call my cell when you pay. I'll swing back, end of the day. 44 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,547 Thanks, Hector. 45 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,431 - Arts and leisure? - So I can read about pagan actors... 46 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,808 Complaining about how america sucks? 47 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,478 I'll stick to my steroid-riddled athletes, thank you. 48 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,647 So, what's the verdict? 49 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,484 - The banana and blueberry are spectacular. - Oh. 50 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,778 Karen: So good, mom. Sheila: Really? 51 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:45,786 So tonight we're going to go off the beaten path. 52 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,790 We are going to have Hungarian night. 53 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,082 -All right? Frank: Hmm. 54 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,252 Gonna have hurka and toltott tojas and ko/basz krump/I. 55 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,422 Guaranteed to exit your colon at the speed of sound. 56 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,632 [Scoffs] 57 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,928 Mom, it's parents night at school tonight. 58 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:10,936 Right, right. I will be there, sweetie. I've been working towards that. 59 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:14,481 That's right. I have it right on my calendar. I circled it. 60 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,900 I've just been... I've just been busy, busy. 61 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,693 But I will be there. 62 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,238 Dad, will you join us at parents night tonight? 63 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,951 Not you, fuckface. I was talking to daddy frank. 64 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,787 Daddy frank, will you come? 65 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,957 Oh, no, no, ladies. I don't do school. 66 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,501 We all have our phobias and school is mine. 67 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,877 All of it. 68 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,464 Textbooks full of falsehoods, teachers unions full of thugs... 69 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:43,885 And tenured imbeciles who still use words like "irregardless." 70 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:48,598 Not for me. However, the crepes, merci. 71 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:51,768 Uh, regarding dinner, why not just move it up? 72 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:55,856 Do the Hungarian thing at 5? What do you say? 73 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,693 Well, think it over. Whatever. I'll be back before 5. I got a meeting. 74 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:04,656 Karen, sweetie, I'm gonna be there. Okay? 75 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,032 I have a session today. 76 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,410 I'm gonna have a breakthrough, I can see it. 77 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,287 [Eddie snickers] 78 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:15,208 Keep laughing and I will slit your throat while you sleep. 79 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,045 [Knocking on door] 80 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,422 Debbie: I'm coming. 81 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:23,758 - Warren. - Debbie. 82 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,219 - Lip upstairs? - Yeah. 83 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:33,393 Fiona: Carl, eat, don't organize. Okay? They all end up in the same place. 84 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,440 - Who was at the door? - Debbie: Warren for lip. 85 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:39,274 Fiona: Don't worry about the ketchup, just the milk and meat so it won't spoil. 86 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,902 Enough hot water for at least one more shower. 87 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,987 Did Carl blow up the neighborhood again? 88 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:48,283 - No, I forgot to pay the bill. - Hey, happens to the best of us. 89 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:51,286 - Not to me, okay? I'm not like this. - Like what? 90 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,455 -Distracted. —yeah, by what? 91 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,707 Well, you're the only new thing in the mix. 92 00:06:56,499 --> 00:07:01,171 Wait, am I actually distracting Fiona Gallagher? Really? 93 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:07,636 I... hey, I will make a coffee run after I finish. 94 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:08,845 - Fine. - Okay? 95 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,348 Time for school, okay? Lip, feet on the floor. 96 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,266 Lip? 97 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,979 - Warren. - Where's my paper? 98 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,397 Where's my money? 99 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:23,026 - I got it. - Okay. 100 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,320 I wanna see it. 101 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,907 - Thirty-five, right? - No, 50. 102 00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,367 [Speaking in Korean] 103 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,995 Stop speaking fake Korean, Warren. 104 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,747 I never said 35. 105 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,916 Not for the paper I wrote you last month. 106 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:41,002 Not for the paper I wrote you last semester. Not for this. 107 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,296 All right? It's 50. 108 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,924 Can you do 36? 109 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,176 - No. - Thirty-eight? 110 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:53,807 Oh, Warren, once again proving that Koreans are the Asian Jews. 111 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,308 That's racist. 112 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,687 No, facts cannot be racist. 113 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:03,858 Many Irish are drunks, many French smell, most Chinese hate children. 114 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,361 That's why they sell them to Americans. 115 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:11,574 Now, the fact here is that you, the one Korean I know... 116 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,577 Made a deal of 50 bucks for an original essay... 117 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,496 About the great goddamn gatsby... 118 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:21,167 Yet, once again, you're trying to get me to lower my agreed-upon price. 119 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,671 Okay? So I want you to give me 50... 120 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,507 - Or gfy. - Gfy? 121 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,343 Go fuck yourself. 122 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,186 - Linda: You're short again. - What? 123 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,940 Inventory, gone, out the door without being paid for. 124 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:47,193 Soup, beer, chips, cigarettes, lollipops, salt. 125 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,654 People are stealing salt, Kash. What the hell? 126 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,198 Kids, why don't you go get some juice? 127 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,993 Boys, stay right where you are. You need to hear this. 128 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,079 Other than genetic markers for heart disease and bad teeth... 129 00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:01,291 This dump is the sum total of what we're leaving you. 130 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,002 The shoplifting is out of hand. 131 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,337 Three hundred and twenty dollars in one week? 132 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,089 This is not a food bank. 133 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,176 What are you doing when all this thievery is taking place? 134 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,845 You playing "brick breaker" on your phone? 135 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,347 Do I need to get the security cameras fixed? 136 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,850 Because that's a $2500 bill we cannot afford. 137 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:26,941 Do me a favor while I take the kids to school: Grow a pair. 138 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,444 Come on, boys. You guys have your lunches? 139 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,243 [Man chattering indistinctly on radio] 140 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,831 [Clears throat] 141 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,507 [Robert grunts] 142 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,509 [Man grunts] 143 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,887 - Sure this is it? - Yeah. Can I please go now? 144 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,558 Oh, Liam, we gotta get you onto this potty. 145 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,311 We can take some of the money we spend on diapers... 146 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,438 And we can buy you candy and cars. 147 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,398 Don't you like candy and cars? 148 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,567 Ah, rewards for shitting. The good old days. 149 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,820 - Hey, let me help. - Okay, cool. 150 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,532 When Liam starts holding his breath and squinting, put him on this. 151 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,492 The power bill. 152 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,619 - I'm almost living here. - No, you're not. 153 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,538 Lip gave me enough for it yesterday. 154 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,958 I picked up a shift and forgot to walk it to the payment center. 155 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,710 Four hundred and thirty bucks? Lip's flush this month. 156 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,797 - It's sat season. - He's always flush during sat season. 157 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,882 - Sat? - College tests. 158 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,385 - He tutors? - Uh, no, takes. 159 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:36,553 [Fiona grunts] 160 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,347 Okay, go play with your cars. 161 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:42,034 - Oh, hey, I got another lead for you. - Lip: Set it up, douche. 162 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:46,229 I'm taking it for someone else today, but, uh, there's another session in two weeks. 163 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,273 - All right. - Don't take the phone today. 164 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,024 -Ineedit -ineedit 165 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,485 - for what? - Cold calling for babysitting gigs. 166 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,362 I sound more mature on the phone. 167 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,115 I'm using the phone today. Go. You're gonna be late. 168 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,658 Steve: I'll give you guys a ride. 169 00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,868 [Grunts] 170 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,369 Ian: Thank you. 171 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,139 Carl: Teacher told me to give this to you. 172 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,665 -What did you do? Carl: Nothing. 173 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,626 This is from last Friday. It's Wednesday. Carl. 174 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,295 - What did he do? - Nothing. 175 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,255 Hey, bat stays here. 176 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,759 Why do we keep having this conversation? 177 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:20,847 - Because you never take the money. - Because I don't need it. 178 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,433 Don't you have some place to be? 179 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,111 Vlad: Catholics. Look at them all. 180 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,322 They replicate like rabbits. 181 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:42,452 But, you know, if the pope ever approves of condoms, I get baptized. 182 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:45,288 A lot I like about the catholic mass. 183 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,332 [Dog barking] 184 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,250 Good to know. 185 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,628 Let's get this over with. 186 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,463 [Robert grunts] 187 00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,968 [Car door closes] 188 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,764 [Door opens] 189 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,349 Fiona: Who forgot what? 190 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,768 Robert: Frank forgot to pay. 191 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,270 Get out of my house. 192 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,898 Deadbolt your door. Dangerous neighborhood. 193 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,775 Frank doesn't live here anymore. 194 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:17,779 Just because he don't live here doesn't mean you don't know where he lives. 195 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:22,742 Put the bat down, pick up the phone and tell him to get us the 6 grand he owes. 196 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,786 - What? - Or bring back the car. 197 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:27,080 Or we'll come back and use the bat on you. 198 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,671 [Door closes] 199 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,881 Karen: It's a buck 50 up-front. 200 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:40,051 When you get your sat results back and see how great lip did... 201 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,427 It's another buck 50. 202 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,013 - And we do this today? - No. 203 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,683 Today's session is booked. Three weeks. 204 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,353 So I sit next to you while you take the test? 205 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,648 Ian: No. He's pretending to be you. 206 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,316 You can't be there. 207 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,986 Why would they think you're me? 208 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:02,031 I'll have an ID that says that I am you. 209 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,368 But what if they ask me for my ID? 210 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,954 I'm going to make a fake ID. 211 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,631 Yeah, that's a chance we're just gonna have to take. 212 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,346 Saturday night. What time can I pick you up? 213 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:29,475 - Seven. - Done, heh. 214 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,814 You're dating oompa now? 215 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,483 He doesn't talk. It's fun. 216 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,238 Come in. 217 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,909 I need a breakthrough, Malaya. Parents night. 218 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,412 - Oh, very important. - My daughter, Karen. 219 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:50,663 We've met. 220 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:54,167 - I'm a little geared up. - I understand. It's good. 221 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,462 Children need to know their parents care about their education. 222 00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:58,671 I tell my son: 223 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,342 "Finish eighth grade and we'll talk about you working in construction." 224 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,761 Not that I couldn't use the extra paycheck now. 225 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,388 Oh, right. 226 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,766 Okay. 227 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,449 I'm ready. 228 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:31,204 Jesus, frank, two assholes busted into our house looking for you and some car. 229 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,039 - They follow you here? - Where is it? 230 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,334 I was invited to participate in a business venture. 231 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:40,797 - What did you do with the money? - I wasn't given any money up front. 232 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,883 I was simply promised that money would be shared with me... 233 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,427 Once an insurance claim was settled. 234 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:51,099 Has that promise been delivered upon? No. No, it has not. 235 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,935 - I warned you. - You knew about this and didn't tell me? 236 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,479 I don't call you every time frank has a bad idea. 237 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:57,730 I'll talk to them. 238 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,942 And say what? "Sorry I forgot to light the car on fire." 239 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,777 I was not doing the igniting. 240 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:05,696 I was just doing the park in a remote location. 241 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:09,909 Unfortunately I had to make a pit stop and when I got back, the car was gone. 242 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,578 You're gonna take care of this now. 243 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,039 Could go to Jersey, stay with your great uncle... 244 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:18,292 No, you're staying here. You're gonna take care of this car. 245 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,503 You're gonna be here to take care of Carl. 246 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:24,632 He needs you to show up at parents night to discuss behavioral problems. 247 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,135 [Groans] 248 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,469 [Screams] 249 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,263 [Girl screams] 250 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,849 Carl: I'm watering the plants. 251 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,809 Ow! Ow! Ow! 252 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,938 - They sound like solutions, not problems. - The school disagrees. 253 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:42,608 He's a boy. This is what boys do. 254 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,736 When I was growing up, Joe palazzo bit off a kid's finger. 255 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,155 Oh, that's gotta be bullshit. 256 00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:50,575 Sister irmalita picked up the nub and wrapped it in kleenex. 257 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,327 She always kept her snot rag stuffed in her sleeve. 258 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:57,081 - They're threatening to expel him. - Well, go talk them out of it. 259 00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,000 They want a parent. A real parent. 260 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,626 I guess you're off the hook, frank. 261 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,879 [All laugh] 262 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:08,259 I have never been threatened by teachers and I am not going to start now. 263 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:11,721 I am fed up with these pan-gender hermaphrodites... 264 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:16,851 Who hate that human beings are a species with two distinct genders. 265 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,687 It's like they've declared war on testicles. 266 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:23,191 They wanna remove all the masculinity from the schools... 267 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,359 Fill the world with yogurt-eaters. 268 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,361 Well, do your research. 269 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,740 We're all descendents of barbarians and the sooner we face it... 270 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:34,785 The sooner we'll have a civilization worth celebrating. 271 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:40,249 So hell, no, I won't go, because no one scares frank Gallagher. 272 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:41,751 [Door opens] 273 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,758 Hey. 274 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,242 [Grunts] 275 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,751 [Panting] 276 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,338 Can you pretend to be frank tonight? 277 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,840 Sorry, fi. I'm working. 278 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,093 Why can't you do it? 279 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:36,514 Say you had Carl when you were like 14 or something. You could pass for 23. 280 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,558 No? Heh. 281 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:40,977 How about Kenny? 282 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,272 I'm trying to keep Carl out of a foster home... 283 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,607 Not give them a reason to put him in one. 284 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,234 Frank will show up for Carl. 285 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,194 I know you think he won't. 286 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:54,240 But deep down, I think frank is capable of doing the right thing. 287 00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,410 Vlad: Frank! 288 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,110 Frank: Hey, give me the board. 289 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,871 -Give me the board. Kid: Hey! 290 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,333 Kid: Hey, give it back. Vlad: Frank, stop! Frank! 291 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,590 God! My... my hammy. 292 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,133 [Laughs] 293 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,968 You losers. 294 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,808 I'm ready. 295 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:23,853 You know what I'm thinking? Indian. 296 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:28,232 So let's go get some curry. 297 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,443 Excellent. 298 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:35,239 And now how about we go find some fresh chicken? 299 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:39,368 Ooh, yes, a yummy tikka masala, tsk. 300 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:42,872 You're doing great, Sheila. 301 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,374 Thank you. You know, I feel terrific. 302 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:49,462 It's really... it's really kind of nice to be out and about. 303 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,799 Do you see any fellow shoppers? 304 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,136 Oh, yes. 305 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,766 Good, Sheila, good. 306 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,142 [Chuckles] 307 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,353 Oh, that wasn't so bad. 308 00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:09,982 Okay, now, this one's coming a little bit close. 309 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,152 Well, sometimes when we're out and about... 310 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:16,072 People shop for the same things... 311 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,281 Sheila: Uh—huh. 312 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,075 And they enter our space for a moment. 313 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:22,828 - Yes, that's happening. - Say "hello" to her. 314 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,001 Oh, that wasn't so bad, ha ha. 315 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,129 That wasn't so bad at all. She seemed really nice. 316 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,383 Okay, so... oh, god. Wait. 317 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,802 Time to check out and head outside. 318 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,262 No, no, no, we just started. 319 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,182 And I still need vanilla and raisins and peaches. 320 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,684 I need to get some peaches. 321 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,394 - No peaches in Indian food. - Yes. 322 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,312 - No, there's peaches. - Concentrate. 323 00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:49,522 Oh, god. 324 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:56,779 No, no, no, I can't do it, I can't. Stop it. Make it stop. 325 00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,656 [Sobbing] 326 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,203 [Whimpers] 327 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:06,497 [Cell phone ringing] 328 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,336 Sorry I threw you out this morning. 329 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,381 I love a woman that knows what she wants. 330 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,509 Yeah, I want to be someone else today. 331 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,470 - How's work? - Backbreaking. 332 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,641 Can I swing by and take you to lunch? 333 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:28,048 I love that there's a world where people go out to lunch. 334 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,395 [Car alarm wails] 335 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,646 Woman: Next. 336 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,315 Carl's in trouble at school. Parents night's tonight. 337 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:36,318 And they want frank to show up, but he says he won't... 338 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,488 So I gotta fix it before nobody shows and he gets bounced. 339 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,323 Sounds fun. 340 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,325 I'll text you later? 341 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:44,577 Make it dirty. 342 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,336 So you guys going to the parent-teacher conference? 343 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,298 - No, ha-ha-ha. - Need a parent for that, don't you? 344 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:01,177 Hey, Louise got an a on the paper you wrote for her English class. 345 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,554 - How do you keep doing that? - Well... 346 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,931 To master the art of the book report... 347 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,976 You just take any novel, no matter when it was written... 348 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:13,022 And you argue that the main character is a latent homosexual. 349 00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,149 No, seriously, seriously. 350 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:18,694 Now, most English teachers are either gay and agree... 351 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:23,407 Or they're straight, but too scared to disagree and get labeled as intolerant. 352 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:24,617 [Laughs] 353 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,162 - Double f: Eighteen seventy! - All right. 354 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:31,415 - Thanks, man. Appreciate it. - Perfect for the big ten. 355 00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:33,459 - Happy to help. - You more than helped. 356 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:37,922 Now I'll definitely be a beer swilling, roofie slipping, fighting illini next year. 357 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,298 - All right? - All right. 358 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:40,800 Awesome. 359 00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:44,178 What happened, tire? Not satisfied with your results? 360 00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:45,721 Haven't come back yet. 361 00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,431 Any day now. 362 00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:50,476 - I better not look stupid. - Impossible. 363 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:55,439 Hey, listen, there's one last testing session this year, so tell your friends. 364 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,150 Don't tell me what to do. 365 00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:05,157 Why do we help people we hate? 366 00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:08,911 I believe we're just taking our cue from American foreign policy. 367 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,413 [Chuckles] 368 00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,126 [Grunts] 369 00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:23,092 [Panting] 370 00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:27,012 [Knocking on door] 371 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,349 - Hello? Hello? - Frank: It's frank. 372 00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:31,934 Frank? 373 00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:33,102 [Whimpers] 374 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:37,565 - Okay, good. Perfect. - Shoes, shoes. 375 00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:40,651 - Shoes? Yeah. - There was a bag. The bag. 376 00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:43,320 Hon, you gotta lighten up about the shoes, okay? 377 00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:45,030 Shoes in bag. 378 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:49,076 - I appreciate you seeing me. - You're Carl's mother? 379 00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:52,454 - Ah, no, sister. - Legal guardian? 380 00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:54,123 Formally, no. 381 00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:57,042 - Develin: Mr. Munroe. - Where's that papier-maché? 382 00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:59,086 Right here. 383 00:22:59,253 --> 00:23:02,047 The kids have been making papier-maché sculptures... 384 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,717 About what they love about themselves. 385 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:08,262 This is Carl's. 386 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,472 What is that? 387 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:13,893 That is a papier-maché pile of shit. 388 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:18,564 Wait. He has a very developed sense of humor. 389 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,524 We're not laughing. 390 00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:23,944 Carl's future is speaking to us through art. 391 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,571 A dark future. 392 00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:29,116 Filled with what, even to the untrained eye, is a budding psychosis. 393 00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:32,745 We need to speak to his father or his mother. 394 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,581 Well, they're out of town. 395 00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:39,710 - It's important that... - I need a parent, not a sister. 396 00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:43,589 I've had what seems to be 15 of you goddamn gallaghers at this school... 397 00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:46,050 And I have never once met a parent. Not once. 398 00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:49,261 Who in the hell is raising this degenerate? 399 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:52,806 Come back tonight with a parent or a call will be placed... 400 00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:55,559 To a place you don't want me to call. 401 00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:03,442 Please? I just want someone to be there for her. 402 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:06,612 To bear witness to her achievements. 403 00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:10,282 If this was about Karen, I would. But these nights are not about kids. 404 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:13,869 They're about teachers giving themselves a platform to worship them. 405 00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:15,871 Asking you to applaud with gratitude... 406 00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:18,624 For all the crap they've been teaching your kids... 407 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:22,002 While in reality, they're asking you to validate them... 408 00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:25,756 For the choice they made to waste their lives as educators. 409 00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:27,675 [Knocking on door] 410 00:24:27,841 --> 00:24:29,259 Who's that? 411 00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:33,347 I'm expecting some granola from Oregon. 412 00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:37,226 From Oregon? People wonder why oil prices are so high. 413 00:24:37,393 --> 00:24:40,354 Shipping oats and sugar all the way... 414 00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:46,402 Can I help you? 415 00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:49,613 - Uh, looking for frank. - Oh. 416 00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:52,282 Vlad: It's Tommy and Joey from down at the bar. 417 00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:54,952 Sheila: Oh. Vlad: We got a darts tournament... 418 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:59,081 Raising money for paralyzed kids, and, uh, we need frank. 419 00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:03,002 We can't win and help the kids without our star player. 420 00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:08,841 Well, he's kind of in an uncooperative mood today. 421 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:12,928 But I'll see if the paralyzed kids can get him out. 422 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:17,975 Let's see. 423 00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:24,189 You, uh...? You play? We need women too. 424 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:26,942 No, I am not a darts person. 425 00:25:27,109 --> 00:25:28,152 [Chuckles] 426 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,988 Would you mind, um, taking your shoes off? 427 00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:34,658 Ugh, my mother, god rest her soul... 428 00:25:34,825 --> 00:25:36,410 - Would be upset if I didn't. - Mm-hm. 429 00:25:36,577 --> 00:25:39,413 - Lovely house. - Oh, thank you. 430 00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:42,374 So, uh, where's frank? 431 00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:47,254 Um, frank? Frank? Frank? 432 00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:52,968 Jesus. 433 00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:36,386 Oh, heads up, man. You're out of bbq pringles. 434 00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:44,812 Hey, did Mickey pay for that? 435 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:51,235 - You have to stand up to him. - What was I supposed to say? 436 00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:54,279 How about, "cut out the shit or I'll call the cops"? 437 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,156 Tried that once with his father. 438 00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:02,329 Terry: What do I owe you now? 439 00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:05,374 Mickey's father's in prison now, all right? 440 00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:07,167 I don't need any new enemies. 441 00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:10,754 You're just gonna let him keep coming in here and taking what he wants? 442 00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:12,714 It's the cost of doing business. 443 00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:14,591 [Door bell chimes] 444 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,594 [Door closes] 445 00:27:23,892 --> 00:27:26,228 I forgot the dip. 446 00:27:26,395 --> 00:27:28,063 [Door bell chimes] 447 00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:30,774 Jesus, Kash. 448 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:35,612 Hey, Mickey, why don't you steal from a neighborhood you don't live in? 449 00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:37,489 Have some civic pride, huh? 450 00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:42,744 Hey, hey. Jesus. Fuck. 451 00:27:42,911 --> 00:27:46,248 You know where I live if you have a problem. 452 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:52,754 Here. Go to the store, replace the stuff he stole. 453 00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:57,593 - We're cowards. - We're smart men in a stupid world. 454 00:27:57,759 --> 00:28:01,221 Hurry, before Linda gets back and sees what's missing. 455 00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:22,910 Bathroom break? 456 00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,204 You'll need to be escorted. 457 00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:26,997 Oh, no, thanks. I'm all done. 458 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,418 [Clears throat] 459 00:28:35,631 --> 00:28:39,009 - Fiona: Thanks for turning us back on. - Sure. 460 00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:41,929 [Cell phone rings] 461 00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:44,473 - Steve: How'd the meeting at school go? - Badly. 462 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,184 Gonna sic social services on us if frank doesn't show. 463 00:28:47,351 --> 00:28:50,229 Since he's never shown up at a school event for any of us... 464 00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:52,231 I'm trying to figure something out. 465 00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:54,650 Why don't I come tonight and pretend to be him? 466 00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:57,277 I'll say whatever people say, like, you know: 467 00:28:57,444 --> 00:29:01,615 "I'm traveling a lot and Carl's probably just acting out because he misses me." 468 00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:03,158 You're way too young. 469 00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,744 I thought you were gonna say too handsome. 470 00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:09,373 - There's other people I can try. - Yeah? Who? 471 00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:11,166 People, okay? 472 00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:14,628 I'll see you later. I can't keep burning up the minutes on my phone. 473 00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:19,633 Hector, you busy tonight? 474 00:29:26,848 --> 00:29:30,352 Hey, Morgan, it's lip. Uh, test went well. 475 00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:34,940 No problem with the ID, one of the benefits of your androgynous name. 476 00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:39,152 I'm thinking I scored you like a 2200. 477 00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:42,239 So send me that postcard from Stanford, all right? 478 00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:44,032 Later. 479 00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:45,784 Man: Morgan. 480 00:29:46,576 --> 00:29:47,661 Morgan. 481 00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:52,958 Or is it Greg powers or Pete o'brien or jammal Jackson? 482 00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:55,669 You taking tests for girls now, Morgan? 483 00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:57,045 [Chuckles] 484 00:29:57,212 --> 00:29:59,589 Yeah. Welcome to your shit-show. 485 00:29:59,756 --> 00:30:03,135 I'm an investigator for the educational evaluation service. 486 00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,053 - The people who administer... - I know. 487 00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:08,473 Oh, you do? So why don't you tell me how you cheat? 488 00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:11,351 - I don't cheat. - Oh, right. 489 00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:12,769 -I don't. —uh-huh. 490 00:30:12,936 --> 00:30:16,940 Let's see. You got a 2360, 2290, 2400. 491 00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:19,234 And all from this crappy high school. 492 00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:20,610 Yeah, I know my shit. 493 00:30:20,777 --> 00:30:22,612 I got a test we just finished creating. 494 00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:27,159 So why don't we go see if you know your shit or you're just full of it? 495 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:37,919 Frank: Karen. Here. 496 00:30:38,462 --> 00:30:41,590 Daddy frank. What are you doing? 497 00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:44,217 Freezing my gonads off, that's what. 498 00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:47,054 You see a pickup with the two scary-looking dudes in it? 499 00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,685 Divert their attention so I can slip back into the house. 500 00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:58,857 Daddy frank, I really, really want you to come to parents night tonight. 501 00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:01,360 Nobody's ever there to see how great I'm doing... 502 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:03,653 And I'm really, really doing great. 503 00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:07,449 Distract them and we'll talk. 504 00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,619 Promise me you'll come to school for me tonight and I'll do it. 505 00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,537 All right, all right, Jesus. 506 00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,998 Everything's gotta be quid pro fucking quo. 507 00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:18,043 Go. Distract. Distract. 508 00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:31,098 So, what have you allowed to be stolen today? 509 00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:35,268 - Can we try some optimism? - Optimism is for children and presidents. 510 00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:39,731 Not for minimart owners in a land of 30 million jobless. 511 00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:43,693 - Linda: Where the hell were you? - Uh... 512 00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,195 Linda: Why are you looking at him? 513 00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:49,699 - Where are you going with all that stuff? - Nowhere. I... 514 00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:53,703 Who? Is it the milkovich kid again? 515 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:07,592 Linda: That's it. We're closed. 516 00:32:12,556 --> 00:32:14,516 Follow me. 517 00:32:20,730 --> 00:32:22,607 Sheila: I cannot thank you enough... 518 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:25,444 For representing our family tonight at parents night. 519 00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:28,613 Karen is going to be so happy. 520 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:32,159 And make sure you ask lots of questions and then report back to me. 521 00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:34,161 I need details. Lots of details, okay? 522 00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:38,373 Details, details. Yeah, yeah, lots of details. 523 00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:42,544 I'd stay down here and entertain you with my lips... 524 00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:46,381 But it's getting kind of late. 525 00:32:46,548 --> 00:32:49,676 No, no, those things never start on time. 526 00:32:50,218 --> 00:32:52,846 - You sure? - Yeah, pretty sure. They never... 527 00:32:53,013 --> 00:32:55,557 - We've got time. - Positive? 528 00:32:55,724 --> 00:32:57,976 - We've got time. We've got time. - Okay. 529 00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:00,979 Hearst: Come here. 530 00:33:04,107 --> 00:33:06,776 Well, you missed one. 531 00:33:07,569 --> 00:33:08,612 No, I didn't. 532 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,368 The wording is ambiguous. 533 00:33:16,286 --> 00:33:17,954 You're gonna get mail on that. 534 00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:24,920 Hearst: Hmm. 535 00:33:25,378 --> 00:33:26,922 I'll take it up with the board. 536 00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:35,472 Twenty-four hundred. 537 00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:39,768 You know how rare that is? Out of a million and a half kids... 538 00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:43,271 Who take the test every year, only 300 get a perfect score. 539 00:33:45,899 --> 00:33:47,234 How did you catch me? 540 00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:52,030 Well, as smart as you are, we got people working for us who are even smarter. 541 00:33:58,036 --> 00:33:59,120 So, what now? 542 00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:02,624 Well, punishment or redemption. Your choice. 543 00:34:02,791 --> 00:34:04,709 What's the punishment? 544 00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:08,797 You entered into this without researching the consequences of getting caught? 545 00:34:10,131 --> 00:34:11,174 Jail? 546 00:34:11,341 --> 00:34:12,384 [Chuckles] 547 00:34:12,551 --> 00:34:14,511 We're not in the business of sending kids to jail. 548 00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:18,390 Our only mandate is to send universities valid scores. 549 00:34:18,557 --> 00:34:21,268 And we invalidate the ones that aren't legitimate. 550 00:34:21,434 --> 00:34:23,895 I'm at the university of Chicago. 551 00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:26,398 Come to my office. 552 00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:34,447 And don't you ever, ever take a test for someone else again... 553 00:34:34,614 --> 00:34:38,034 Or I will find you and I will beat you senseless. 554 00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:51,923 [H earst whistling] 555 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:04,227 - Where'd you learn how to do that? - I lived a lot of years before I met you. 556 00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:06,354 Come on. 557 00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:15,196 Now, hold it like you wanna do something with it. 558 00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:24,581 - Hand it here. - What? 559 00:35:30,295 --> 00:35:32,631 Left shoulder. Right shoulder. 560 00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:34,883 Left leg. Right leg. 561 00:35:35,050 --> 00:35:38,386 Stomach. Neck. Face. 562 00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:56,488 - Lip: Hey, sorry I'm late. - I brought you a shirt. 563 00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:57,989 - Okay. - Okay, now listen up. 564 00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:01,660 We are gonna stand united and show them we are a family that is thriving. 565 00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:03,578 - You got it? Let's go. - Yup. 566 00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:06,039 Lip: Come on. Fiona: Come on. 567 00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:09,959 This is it? 568 00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:15,256 Uh, Phillip. Very good to see you again, sir. 569 00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:18,635 Uh, Phillip is 17, I'm 21. 570 00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:22,138 Uh, while we may not be the legal guardians of our brother, we do supply... 571 00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:25,475 I told you I wanted to see a parent. 572 00:36:26,601 --> 00:36:28,186 We just opened the letter today. 573 00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:30,647 I gave Carl the letter last week. 574 00:36:30,814 --> 00:36:34,859 So you're relying on a 9-year-old to deliver important correspondence? 575 00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:37,612 You don't seem to have a home phone. 576 00:36:37,779 --> 00:36:40,198 Car! Is taken care of at home by loving siblings. 577 00:36:40,365 --> 00:36:43,326 This is not up for negotiation. 578 00:36:43,493 --> 00:36:45,870 Your brother is on the verge of being expelled. 579 00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:50,583 And unfortunately, there are steps the state requires to be taken... 580 00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:53,002 Before he can be bounced. 581 00:36:53,169 --> 00:36:56,631 And a meeting with his legal guardian is the next step. 582 00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,759 Please, you can't do this. I mean, he loves school. 583 00:36:59,926 --> 00:37:03,179 - Heh. - More potential victims here, I suppose. 584 00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:05,765 No, all his friends are here. 585 00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:07,434 Can you stop that? I'm serious. 586 00:37:08,268 --> 00:37:10,145 He needs more structure, we know. 587 00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:13,231 [Laughing] 588 00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:19,112 What Carl needs is medication, a near-death experience... 589 00:37:19,279 --> 00:37:21,030 Or a lobotomy. 590 00:37:23,408 --> 00:37:27,537 You should be proud of your daughter. She's prompt, poised, cheerful. 591 00:37:27,704 --> 00:37:30,749 Vivid imagination. Expansive vocabulary. 592 00:37:31,458 --> 00:37:33,126 Karen has greatness in her future. 593 00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,336 She gets it from me. 594 00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:38,923 It's all the time I spent with her when she was a youngster. 595 00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,092 Flashcards and the like. 596 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:44,596 Pounding, pounding, pounding, relentlessly. 597 00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:48,808 Never underestimate the power of flashcards. 598 00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:50,643 I'm sorry. 599 00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,938 I'm placing a call to social services. 600 00:37:54,105 --> 00:38:00,737 A home without a legal guardian is a home we cannot condone. 601 00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:04,324 Hello, all. 602 00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:06,868 Uh, sorry I was late. I got held up at the office. 603 00:38:07,577 --> 00:38:10,789 So now that Fiona and I are engaged, I've filed the papennork... 604 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:14,459 So that we can become the legal guardians of the children. 605 00:38:16,085 --> 00:38:19,297 Do you realize Carl's report card has seven u's? 606 00:38:19,464 --> 00:38:23,718 - Uh, u's? - As in "unsatisfactory." 607 00:38:23,885 --> 00:38:28,515 But don't think of u as in "unsatisfactory." 608 00:38:28,681 --> 00:38:31,226 Think of u as in f. 609 00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:33,478 As in "failed"? 610 00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:34,938 As in "fucked." 611 00:38:36,064 --> 00:38:38,441 I am not a religious man. 612 00:38:38,608 --> 00:38:41,110 But every now and then, a child comes along... 613 00:38:41,277 --> 00:38:44,864 Who makes me believe in the existence of Satan. 614 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:47,534 Now, something drastic must be done... 615 00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:50,161 Or he's going to slip down through the cracks... 616 00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:52,914 Right up into a clock tower with a sniper rifle. 617 00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:58,044 Given our resources, he is beyond our ability to help. 618 00:38:58,211 --> 00:39:01,923 It's just a phase and now that we're aware of it... 619 00:39:02,090 --> 00:39:05,927 Too late. This Norman Rockwell display may warm the cockles... 620 00:39:06,094 --> 00:39:08,805 Of some other fool who believes no fucking child... 621 00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:11,808 Not even the budding psychotics, should be left behind. 622 00:39:11,975 --> 00:39:17,772 But the fact is the sooner Carl is put in prison, the safer this world is gonna be. 623 00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:20,733 More a Mickey hart fan when it comes to paintings. 624 00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:23,403 - What? What's that? - More of a Mickey hart fan... 625 00:39:23,570 --> 00:39:26,155 Than a Norman Rockwell fan? 626 00:39:28,575 --> 00:39:32,328 Mickey hart's an all right painter for a drummer. 627 00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:37,166 - Could you all excuse us for a second? - For what? 628 00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:41,713 If we could just take a walk and talk in private, get a breath of fresh air. 629 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:04,444 Hey... ooh! 630 00:40:04,611 --> 00:40:05,820 [Grunts] 631 00:40:05,987 --> 00:40:08,156 All you had to do was drive the car and park. 632 00:40:08,323 --> 00:40:10,408 Frank: It was an extraordinary circumstance. 633 00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:13,453 It was the night the bears were playing green bay. 634 00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:14,662 There was an after... 635 00:40:14,829 --> 00:40:16,247 [Frank groaning] 636 00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:19,834 I'd be kicking you had I not pulled a hamstring chasing after you. 637 00:40:20,001 --> 00:40:21,586 You're a fast little bastard. 638 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,547 Second team all-state in the mile. 639 00:40:24,714 --> 00:40:26,132 [Yelling] 640 00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:29,093 - Daddy frank? - Hey. 641 00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,309 Sell a kidney, prostitute your 12-year-old. 642 00:40:36,476 --> 00:40:39,812 I don't care how you get it, but I want 6 grand in cash by Saturday... 643 00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:42,774 Or this ear will be hanging around my neck. 644 00:40:53,618 --> 00:40:58,539 No one around here really knows those terrapins are a grateful dead thing. 645 00:40:58,706 --> 00:40:59,707 [Chuckles] 646 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,834 The kids call them Mr. G's turtles. 647 00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:07,006 Shit, man. They don't even know who the grateful dead are. 648 00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:09,509 Oh, man. 649 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:12,637 The summer of 1979. 650 00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:15,306 Heh, the best summer of my life. 651 00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:17,850 Followed the dead around the midwest. 652 00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:22,730 Supported myself selling grilled cheese in the parking lot. 653 00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,524 Yeah, they made great music. 654 00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:28,111 Their music blows. 655 00:41:28,277 --> 00:41:30,780 But their female fans... 656 00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:34,492 Were a bunch of patchouli-soaked sluts... 657 00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:36,953 Who all wanted to ball their first black guy. 658 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,540 [Both snickering] 659 00:41:40,707 --> 00:41:44,419 I never embraced tokenism with more gusto. 660 00:41:44,585 --> 00:41:46,713 [Both laughing] 661 00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:53,344 Ah, those terrapins were a parting gift... 662 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:55,346 From this skidmore chick... 663 00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:03,479 Who sucked me off like I had diamonds buried in the bottom of my ball sack. 664 00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:11,404 Man, this is some good shit. 665 00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,323 You know, we're gonna turn Carl around. 666 00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:17,660 Thanks for the joint... 667 00:42:18,077 --> 00:42:19,954 But I'm not gonna lose my pension... 668 00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:23,207 Over some little wack job going postal on my watch. 669 00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:27,462 Though I do not distribute high-quality medicine such as this... 670 00:42:27,628 --> 00:42:32,759 I could hook you up with discreet people who'd give you a favorable price. 671 00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:35,303 We talking a teacher discount? 672 00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:38,806 [Chuckles] 673 00:42:38,973 --> 00:42:40,183 My man. 674 00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:45,146 What the hell did you do? 675 00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:47,482 Saw an opening, made my move, got lucky. 676 00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:48,649 [Fiona chuckles] 677 00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:53,029 - Daddy. - If I hadn't had such a... 678 00:42:53,488 --> 00:42:54,822 Debbie, we gotta go. 679 00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:57,575 I wanna say hi to daddy. Daddy. 680 00:42:57,742 --> 00:42:59,619 - Hi. - Hello, pumpkin. 681 00:42:59,786 --> 00:43:00,995 Karen, what's going on? 682 00:43:01,162 --> 00:43:04,624 You said you never come to these, so I thought you weren't gonna come... 683 00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:07,585 So I asked frank to stand in for my worthless father. 684 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:09,045 Did they expel Carl? 685 00:43:12,965 --> 00:43:17,345 What did I tell you? Drama and threats, all for naught. 686 00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:19,305 [Frank chuckles] 687 00:43:23,935 --> 00:43:25,895 Come on, guys. Let's go. 688 00:43:29,816 --> 00:43:30,900 Bye, daddy. 689 00:43:32,151 --> 00:43:33,402 Yeah, see you. 690 00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:44,997 Carl, we're serious. The stakes are really, really high. 691 00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:49,585 We love you and we need you in this family, in this house. 692 00:43:49,752 --> 00:43:53,673 You need to stop biting and punching and hurting people. 693 00:43:54,215 --> 00:43:57,593 - Well, how else do I make them cry? - Gossip and slander. 694 00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,930 You know, when I get really angry, I usuallyjust count to 10. 695 00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:03,975 Hey, little man, tell you what we'll do. 696 00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:07,270 We're gonna get you some pads and skates, get you out on the ice. 697 00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:09,730 Take your frustrations out with a hockey stick. 698 00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:11,482 You can come to karate with me. 699 00:44:11,649 --> 00:44:15,611 Remember when I broke Kyle's leg? Took three pins to put it back together. 700 00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:16,946 You can't beat karate... 701 00:44:17,113 --> 00:44:20,366 When it comes to regulated, sanctioned violence for children. 702 00:44:25,246 --> 00:44:29,709 Sheila: Will you tell me one more time what the teacher said, frank? 703 00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:32,295 How many more times? 704 00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:38,384 Just one more time. Just one more time. 705 00:44:38,551 --> 00:44:42,346 I would have known if I'd been there, but just one more. 706 00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:48,394 They said she was developing into an incredibly poised young woman. 707 00:44:49,896 --> 00:44:52,273 - Poised? - Mm-hm. 708 00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:56,777 Oh, she is. 709 00:44:58,738 --> 00:45:02,116 She's quite the young lady. 710 00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:11,667 Frank, how am...? 711 00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:17,882 How am I gonna help her be the woman she's supposed to be... 712 00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:21,093 If I'm locked up in this house? 713 00:45:22,678 --> 00:45:27,725 I can't even get through the doors of a pretend supermarket. 714 00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:32,688 How am I gonna show her the Grand Canyon? 715 00:45:36,484 --> 00:45:40,613 Life is going on all around me and I'm missing out. 716 00:45:42,990 --> 00:45:45,534 Why am I so pathetic? 717 00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:52,083 Hey, you are going to get through those doors any day now... 718 00:45:52,250 --> 00:45:55,169 And never look back. 719 00:45:56,545 --> 00:45:57,588 [Chuckles] 720 00:46:00,716 --> 00:46:01,759 [Sheila sniffles] 721 00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:10,559 Thank you for being my light. 722 00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:19,986 My frank, my light. 723 00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:28,911 Hey, um... listen, Morgan, it's lip. 724 00:46:31,914 --> 00:46:37,920 We gotta talk. I got some bad news regarding your sat scores. 725 00:46:39,338 --> 00:46:42,258 They're invalidating your score. 726 00:46:45,594 --> 00:46:49,098 I'll go into more detail when I speak with you. 727 00:46:49,307 --> 00:46:51,934 Sorry to leave this on your phone. 728 00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:55,438 All right. 729 00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:58,065 Okay. Hit me back. 730 00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:09,160 You know, I didn't need your help. 731 00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:11,912 You know, it looked like you did. 732 00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:15,041 You're upset that I actually did help. 733 00:47:15,207 --> 00:47:18,711 You're afraid that if I keep on showing up and actually helping... 734 00:47:18,878 --> 00:47:22,006 That you'll like it, and liking it will lead to relying on it. 735 00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:25,551 By relying on it, you'll be less of the you you've made yourself into: 736 00:47:25,718 --> 00:47:28,596 A kick-ass you that you like and I like too. 737 00:47:29,638 --> 00:47:31,515 You're afraid that if you rely on me... 738 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:34,226 One day when you really need me to show, I won't. 739 00:47:34,393 --> 00:47:38,105 You'll be angry at yourself for believing something you only see in movies... 740 00:47:38,272 --> 00:47:41,442 Something that I'm determined to prove to you actually exists. 741 00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:49,575 How come every time I wanna fool around, you can't shut up? 742 00:47:59,335 --> 00:48:01,337 [Knocking on door] 743 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:17,436 Tire: Hey, I'm here for lip to pay him the balance for the sat test. 744 00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:25,694 - Tire. - Lip, my man. 745 00:48:25,861 --> 00:48:28,030 - They invalidated my score. - Lip: I was gonna call. 746 00:48:28,197 --> 00:48:31,826 - I'll get a six on this test. - Get at least 200 for spelling your name. 747 00:48:31,992 --> 00:48:34,995 Shit. Wait, wait, wait, I can fix this, all right? 748 00:48:36,372 --> 00:48:40,209 - I won't be able to play ball in college. - Lip: You'll go straight to the pros. 749 00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:45,172 [Grunts] 750 00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:47,007 [Thumping and lip grunting] 751 00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:53,139 - Lip: No, no, no, please. - You think you'll live... 752 00:48:53,305 --> 00:48:54,765 If I drop you on your head? 753 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:57,435 - I don't. - Lip. 754 00:48:57,601 --> 00:48:59,103 Shit. 755 00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:01,623 - Ian: Get back inside. - Back off or I'll throw you out too. 756 00:49:01,647 --> 00:49:02,690 [Lip grunts] 757 00:49:02,857 --> 00:49:04,400 Let him go. 758 00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:06,777 Get my brother back or the kid swings the bat. 759 00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:08,070 - Tire: Okay. - Now. 760 00:49:08,237 --> 00:49:11,157 - Keep your shit straight. I'll pull him in. - Ian: Now. Come on. 761 00:49:11,323 --> 00:49:14,118 - What the hell is going on? - Carl's got it covered. 762 00:49:14,285 --> 00:49:16,412 [Both panting] 763 00:49:16,579 --> 00:49:20,916 I was just joking. Okay? Okay? 764 00:49:25,212 --> 00:49:28,841 [All shout] 765 00:50:02,458 --> 00:50:06,962 Uh, uh, you ever been with a black guy? 766 00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:10,257 Does rape count? 767 00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:14,845 I was acquitted. 768 00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:16,680 [Both laughing] 769 00:50:46,752 --> 00:50:48,754 [English - us - sdh]